i can see what i heard and read from the book become reality now.

mentioned you this book i read titled "bringing up boys" by james dobson? not only boys/men are naturally gifted in being deaf in what people say...boys, naturally incline to their fathers at certain age. if i remembered what my sis, diana told me, think is 3 years old onwards. it's not something mothers have done any wrong, it's just natural...or maybe...God's intended age for the boys to start observing their fathers as a male, role model.

i can see that in ian now. when he was a baby, and as i'm the caregiver, he's closer to me, everything is mommy mommy. now, whether his father is away, busy at work whole day, maybe just a few words over the phone, or when he's finally at home but simply want to chill out rather than playing with him. in short, jem doesn't have to spend a lot of time (like me) to build that bond, ian will still ask "i want daddy"

nowadays, whenever is nap time and bed time, he'll shout 'i want daddy'
when i punish him, 'i want daddy'
we have 2 toilets, one is common and another is attached bathroom in master bedroom, he normally prefer his dad to bathe him whenever the shower is in common bathroom, coz that's where jem normally bathe them.

mind you, i'm not jealous okie! boys longing for father is something i love to have. free me!!!

anyway, give you an example...
for the past 2 days...oh well...not 2 days...whenever comes to nap and bed time, it's something i'm not quite enjoy, it always take at least one hour (there're times up to 2 hours) to wait for them to sleep...to me is very unproductive. i mean...it's nice to see the boys enjoy playing in the room, but if they take longer time to settle down, till the stage when ....ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! i'll get agitated, will do whatever ways to make them settle down.
trapped ian's leg...:P, stopping him from moving around...like sumo!
can't find cane? i use hanger again, to whack their thighs if one still don't lie down...a lot of 'U' marks...:(
all i need is to settle one, then another one will follow, i always target on ian...*poor kor kor*

i've learnt, never try to settle 2....they both like each other's charger....charge charge charge till both's battery never go flat! i gotta force one to settle down...sometimes purpose making one of them cry (which i found quite a good way to drain their battery power, but not always). that's when ian will call for his father...

battery low, kena scolded by me, sometimes kena hit by me (yeah yeah, i know i shouldn't use my hand, there're times i wish i hv canes in every room and every corner of the house)...need to look for someone to sayang...oh! DADDY! DADDY!

"i want daddy!!!" cried ian...very poor thing.
then jem came in, sayang, bao bao...ooo?i!!! koon liao! quite an easy job for the father yeah!

i'm quite bad, maybe i should do that...whack many times, cry, look for his dad, then chop chop zzzzz...rather than spending at least one hour in the room...sitting, catching (nathan always jumping down from bed), pulling, settling, bending down, stopping them from fighting and pushing...i tell you, my lower back and the pelvic area always have sharp pain as a result of this...

i have advices like "you better stop carrying them", "better stop doing this and that then you'll not have backache"

you so smart, you do lah!!! are you pregnant? when they climb high, will they hear or choose to listen to you when you yell at them "come down!!!", are you the one who does all the stopping and scolding? are you around when the boys are misbehaving? when they get hurt, all i heard is "oh poor thing, why never watch them? i wonder how you can take care when you're alone!" no right? so?? someone has to do it yeah? who cares about having the right posture or beautiful ballet moves to catch those mischievous boys!
(you all don't think i'm targeting on jem okie, i'm talking to people in general)

haizzz!!! better look for chiropractor soon...maybe i do need some guidance on how to bend/squat/catch the boys properly.