alright, now that the result is out and everybody knows baby's gender...

baby #3 is a BOY

some people started to ask me, how i feel about it.

honestly, when the gynae said "oh, it's very obvious!!!"
"obvious what??" i thought
then he showed us baby's legs, this time is a v-shaped, baby's legs wide opened and you definitely can see it.
my first thought is....wooohooo, jem won the bet! he told his family, if he wins, EVERY member in the family must give him a treat. if he lose, he'll treat the entire family a meal....doesn't sound like a fair deal right? but that showed how confident he felt that this baby #3 is gonna be a boy.......based on statistic, he said.

i'm not feeling disappointed...i'm fine with any gender.
for practical reason, of course, i'm very happy to reuse all the clothes :P and probably all the familiarity in taking care a baby boy. but i must admit, i cannot imagine dealing with 3 boys, leave them to his father!!!

my in laws on the other hand, can tell they are quite disappointed. my mom in law still thought we're joking till....i started to call my family to tell them the gender...after having 2 boys, they all hope to have someone 'easier' and 'milder' to take care...someone 'different'. it's natural...if you have girls, you hope to have boy...vice versa. then she asked me to try for 4th one....for a girl!!!

siao! the 3rd one not even come out yet...try 4th...3 boys!!! not handful enough huh! i declare close factory hoh! unless God thinks otherwise.

and now for naming our little #3!!! headache!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

result is out!


ATTN: BERNIE!!!!


YOU!!!!



just lost your 1000 Egyptian pounds

with what has been happening with my temper recently, guess i better join parent group soon (ehhh....thought i talked about it long time ago)

just came out of the room...the boys finally slept...i felt very bad, coz i beat ian almost everyday...as there's no cane, i use hanger.

you know, people say 'spare the rod, spoil the child'
people also say 'use rod sparingly'...

i once thought i'll not implement caning on my kids...coz i can't bear. but i can't believe i'm the one who started all this and use pretty often....

ian not only always 頂嘴, pushing, snatching toys, always do things which we constantly told him not to, he has this new bad habit developed out of nowhere recently, always blink as though something went into his eyes...everybody in the household got so annoyed by his new habit and kept telling him off...of course, as parent, i've never fail to hear 'connie, look at him, blink his eyes like that again, you better teach him to stop'.

how i wish i know the most effective way of stopping him...

back to the caning topic...i feel bad of hitting him each time...oh well, not during that angry moment...he makes me so angry everyday that it's so easy for me to just use any hanger to hit him! and i hit him real hard!!! to make me feel even more guilty, i took advantage of his character too...ian's character is the soft type...you know the kind of response you'll get when you hit him, unlike nathan, i foresee he'll fight back and scream his lung out. (i haven't started on nathan)

i don't know how and when is the best time and situation to use cane. or should i use at all. i'm feeling as though i'm so relying on it that i don't know how else to discipline him other than using hanger/cane.

and now...ian associates hanger as to hang clothes and hit people.

he finally feeling tired and wanted me to baobao him sleep...looking at the red marks on his thigh, makes me heartbroken and pain.

went to see gynae yesterday, impromptu...

found out my shorts is wet yesterday morning and when i carry ian, felt a minor 'gush'. there's no urine smell too.

was worried okie! i thought i have amniotic leakage...called up hospital for advice and then asked to go on the same day. i dropped the boys at my in laws' place and off to hospital.

let me tell you...the nurses there were more 'ganjiong' than me...asked me not to move too much, and i didn't have to wait too long (normally i have to wait for at least an hour) before my turn to see gynae.

thank God my sac is intact...baby is alright, i'm alright.

what's wrong?

ehhhh....you're talking about cozai here...always didn't ask much of 'whys'...the moment i heard everything is alright...all my questions disappeared. and ah...i thanked God my gynae (is a male) is on leave okie...was attended by a female gynae...the way she checked you know where really....wahhhlauuuu....i may want to dig a hole if is a male do on me.

oh oh oh...i asked if can find out baby gender too...

guess what? which gender???

i also don't know...baby happened to be very 'gentle' that day, both legs closed up!!! make me so sian ji bua!

have to wait for another 2 weeks when my gynae back from his holidays....if baby still acts so gentle that day, then another 2 weeks when the radiographer must die die find out the gender that day....it's their 'must-do' report! i remembered when i'm pregnant with ian....the radiographer shaked very hard on my tummy, just to make ian moves his position...i mean HARD!!!

i don't know about you...though is my 3rd one, i'm still dying to find out gender...

okie dokies...enough of updates...

my boys? how about them?

the elder one makes me vomit blood everyday.
the younger one makes me body ache everyday...climb non-stop.

but both i love deep deep! it's God gifts for me to mould my character...i have to admit that my temper is getting from bad to worst recently (you can ask jem about it)...still everyday i learn...how to be more patient...

not easy to be parent man....jem's family had done a very very very good job in raising him and joyce. so does my parents (ehhhh....not praising myself lah)...at least i'm not in the dark side.

sorry mates,

not been updating..

feeling tired and therefore become very lazy recently :P

don't know whether is the right time to talk about it but i guess there's no secret about it for now, need your prayer, haha!!! the more the merrier!

it's official now...we're going to sell our current flat and looking into bishan home.

it's been months, not that i don't like my current home, i love it a lot a lot, but due to circumstances, having #3, ian's school at bishan...with all the future traveling to and fro, my stubbornness of not willing to have a maid AND my constant grumble of no privacy...jem finally open up to look for flat in bishan.

i guess is because he's worried for the boys safety. he worries that when i'm looking after baby....may not have another spare eyes and hands to stop the boys from 互相残杀.

i was quite surprised actually, for the past few months, my mom in law and myself have been viewing flats once a while, jem hardly joined in the viewing...reason is because he feels that we've no money, there's no point wasting time to view flats. i can understand his view and we didn't force him...the only thing is whenever the agent asked me where's my hubby, i gotta come out with valid excuses like he needs to take care of our kids (which is true, eh...but why not my mom in law right? anywayz....)

then couple weeks ago, he suddenly agreed to view together...i was...like jumping for joy (deep inside), nevermind we don't have enough money, go see see look look is a good start, though he knows the area inside out, but looking at people's flat and their condition can be fun.

to cut long story short, we've engaged property agent to help us look out for buyer and seller. and we thanked God that we managed to get financial support too, would rather pay them back the loan than through bank loan with high interest :P.

when we said staying near family, we mean either same block, directly in front or behind theirs. as this is going to be our super long term home, we want to find a place where we really happy and like...we've eyeing on high floor...which.....most of the current owners are happy stayers....:P the only thing we can pray is that God will bless them so much (despite financial crisis), that they decided to shift to private property (because the private property price is dropping recently).

also we hope to be able to have someone buy our property soon....because our property price drops...heard from agent that there are 10 over flats in our area queuing up for sale...very competitive eh...we need the money we got from selling to finance our new home. and we pray for best timing too...uhmm...don't know how to write this... it's the timing of selling and buying, all the reno works will be just nice...which means doesn't require us to store our things somewhere before moving into new home. it will be good to move straight from our home to new home...

if you can imagine, my in laws are the happiest...
my father in law circles all the potential flats for sale every saturday for me to call up.
my mom in law would come along with us to view flats and telling me all the pros of staying together (repeated times)
my grand in laws would give suggestion what and what not to look out for a flat.

here's the progress report of my dear nathan's sleep training.

whenever he wakes up in the middle of the night, he no longer (cross my fingers) walk to all the spots where i normally nurse him...he still cries when i offer him water, but after crying a while, he would sip or drink and fall back to sleep...

sometimes he slept through, but very often he still wake up once or twice for a sip...

as for all the naps and before sleeping, he no longer nurse to sleep, though he attempted a few times :P

i nurse him only when he wakes up at 5:45am onwards though...i don't know why i do that...but ah...i give myself reason that he has no milk for whole night, so....give in...or...it's early morning, i don't want to fight with him anymore.

so there's good and bad for this weaning thingy, good thing is i'm glad not having to nurse him in the middle of the night, don't mind 'bao bao' till he sleeps. the cons? take longer time to sleep now...much longer...if nurse, max probably 45 mins? now? 1-2 hours....kor kor ian wanted to sleep so badly but nathan kept climbing up and down and talking to him till he got irritated.

i've got another new hormonal change again...more prone to migraine, have new itchy area on my left elbow and itchy spots on both side of my mouth, so when you see me, it's as though my mouth kena punched by jem :P....hahah no lah! but the brown spots are true, think apple is one of the food that causes the itch...sigh! dear God, no more please...that mouth is already makes me very unsightly liao!

26 dec will be my next checkup, hopefully can find out baby's gender...來來來, place your bet in the chatbox and suggest names please. please don't feel offended if i don't take up your suggestion okie...

here's the long awaited photos...i don't upload photos often nowadays...too lazy :D








love this photo, was raining before sending ian to playgroup


have carbonara for dinner, my man and boys love it!





ian's graduation day


that's his playgroup friends and his favourite teacher (lady in white)




one of bedtime activities


kiddy ride


their favourite ice lemon tea (very diluted with water :P i added water)


slides in ikea :D

church wedding - jem's relative

our sweet pretty joyce :D


ian took this picture


very rare couple photo


ian took this picture too, of course, i'm holding on the camera as well





wedding dinner - me and my dear nathan


i like this! like papa like son


my pretty and gorgeous mom in law


my in laws :D - pretty and handsome


ah gong and ah po!!!


ian's birthday party


his birthday gift - thomas, annie & clarabel, mack and a bicycle (too big, can't take):D


jemster family

there's something about my boys and my mom in law...

both boys have this 'i don't want grandma' period...my poor mom in law has done nothing wrong but showered them with gifts, love and kisses.

ian's over...if i can recall, it lasted only 3-4 weeks...but not for nathan, it's been months....even till now.

nathan would kiss and hug everybody good night except her.
nathan would want everyone else to carry except her.
he would ask other people's for help except her.
he's very close with his grandpa and great grandparents many times more than grandma.

the only time when he wants grandma is shopping...anything that's out of the house is fine :P

i wonder history will repeat itself when no.3 comes along...hope not, she'll be heart-broken.

uhmm...what have i been doing lately?

how's nathan?
am quite reluctant to talk about that sleeping training...i can see there's progress in day time, night time still the unpredictable ones...anyway, don't want to talk about the crying part, am very tired to even think of it now. not sure is it because of my pregnancy or any other reasons, the nursing frequency drops drastically for the past few days...and of course my milk supply naturally dropped too, and let-down is getting slower to respond. he didn't nurse whole day today till 7pm+++ this evening...whole day okie...when i asked him or when he seemed to want to nurse, he stopped after latching on for less than 10 secs...and ran out of the room...great! how nice if he does that at night!!!

ian?
very challenging! new words recently...very demanding new words in fact.
"i want"
"i want it NOW"
"now!!!"
very good in 顶嘴

e.g.
connie: "ian, if you still push nathan, i'm going to take your trains away!"
ian: "no!!! i'm going to take the trains away, i'll put high high, then you cannot take"

grandma: "ian, come out from the bathroom now, you want to go out with grandma??"
ian: "wait, 5 mins"
grandma: "i'm going without you, you stay here"
ian: "i'll go there myself, i'll take taxi and i leave you alone"

so daring yeah???!!!! whenever i hear that, naturally, i would think...have i done something wrong?
he's simply good at using words we've been using on him and use it for his own purpose. and as a stay at home mom, with people think i'll have all the time in the world to discipline my child and my child should behave better because the mother is there to discipline him 24/7...i do feel quite bad.

alright, let's talk about the good side of my week. i manage to meet up with my 2 other friends with their boys this week...met in globetrotters, united square. all of us have 2 boys, i left nathan with ah gong ah po to take care, brought only ian. it's a good time catching up, the boys were enjoying themselves in the playroom. we chatted and we shared...simply good time to just chill out with friends. how time flies, but those short moment is precious :D

am into my 2nd trimester now...nausea still have...aversion of technology still strong...feel sick whenever i flip the newspapers...hp, computers and tv ads everywhere. went for my oscar test (to check whether baby has down syndrome), thank God baby is low risk. i went for my thyroid test too, the lady told me i can ask the radiologist to find out baby genders...as early as 12-13 weeks! i got all excited actually, but of course, it's all depend on the radiologist...i asked, mine refuse to tell me :P
oh...some gynae are pro-breastfeeding even during pregnancy, my gynae has been advising me to wean nathan off too...he said 3 persons drawing nutrients...he's worrying for the baby n me. oh well...i hope the weaning battle will end soon...anyway, nathan nurses lesser nowadays.

so...today is almost end of november...one more month and 4 days...ian will start attending his new nursery...which means....

which means....

from that day onwards....

dear Jesus, You said
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts" - isaiah 55:8-9

let me tell You my thoughts, i've been hoping the hdb resale flat price to drop, staying opposite is the best solution. i hope You simply bless the opposite flat owner so much (despite financial crisis), that they move out, get a private property (as private price drops) and sell in very cheap price. these are MY thoughts and of course, based on the newspaper, it's a impossible hope coz it just said hdb resale price just went up again......grrrrrhhhhhh **chew and tear the newspaper!!!**

i know You have a better plan according to Jeremiah 29:11
if so, can You please dig out my brain and tell me what Your plan is so that i can just sleep and rest in peace? rather than counting down the school opening days??? or...actually...honestly...will i accept Your plan? like....maybe You would want me to continue to go everyday or if not alternate day...for a prolong period of time...just to mould me??? **start to throw things!!! where's jem??? i need a punching bag!!!**

yes, i'm quite violent recently...even jem gotta tell his cell group...to pray as i'm quite bad tempered in this pregnancy :P am a wolverine!!!

anything to soothe me? i don't want chocolate cake already....i can't shop much liao...bad times...gotta watch what i spend...uhmm...maybe a massage... :D

it's been a physically and emotionally draining 1.5 weeks (and still is) for me...

have decided to start weaning nathan off to sleep round #2...it's not something i really looking forward to but i guess i need to...started last thursday....and i've never had good mood ever since then.

it's much much much tougher than i thought...i don't know how long he cried, i didn't record this time...coz each day is different, unpredictable unlike the first time.

well, on the bright side, i think he learnt how to sleep on his own on day time and night time, he may fuss a bit...but the real battle is midnight...1.5 weeks, there is very little or.....no progress?

my body sort of tune to his waking moment, before he wakes up in the middle of the night, i've already woken up, and i started to feel dreaded 'oh no...how long this time and how am i going to deal with it' and true enough, he woke up :P

each time, when he wakes up, he tried to give me things i normally use before and during nursing time (towel, water bottle and pillow), when i show no sign of nursing him and offer him water instead, he cries super loud, in great frustration and anger, push me off the bed, wanting me to carry him out of the room, if i insist to sit on the bed, he'll go down himself and stand at the door, crying and signalling me he wants to go out...
my mind has been thinking (every night)
"what does he want?"
"is he hungry"
"does he want milk?" (powder or fresh milk)
"he wants me to sling him?"
"man, i wonder how our neighbor think"

then when i opened the door, this time he led me to places where i normally nurse him, ian's room, the sofa and the tv (oh yeah, i used to nurse him with the tv on, so he points at the tv, ask me to turn it on! gosh, it's midnight!!! 1-2am!!! sometimes 3am, sometimes 4am!!! no way), and the bed in my room...
i know i should stick to one thing, maybe i should just stay in the room and refuse to give in anything else, maybe i'm just too tired, anything that can stop him from crying, i'll give in, just no nursing! so i've been going in and out the room, the kitchen, slinging, sitting, looking at the window, looking at the road, trying to distract him...

what i did for the past few night, after crying for a certain time, for at least an hour? i
- offer him water, he drinks and then fall asleep
- offer him warm fresh milk, he drank and then fall asleep shortly after that
- sling him around, and fall asleep in another room...will wake up when bk to his own room
- nurse him a while, then let him cry till he fall asleep
- adjust his diaper, he slowly stop crying and slept.

all i can tell you is is the above only works one night, after that it won't work ANYMORE. can't remember the rest already....

jem was away to bangkok that week too, so normally, we stay over at in law's place, but because of this weaning thingy, i insist to remain in sk or come bk every night...i cannot imagine having nathan cry in the middle of the night and make everybody else can't sleep well and in fact....actually i don't want anyone come out and suggest me what i should or shouldn't do (e.g. don't let him cry too long)...or telling me how heartache, how loud, how long he cried the next day (there's nothing wrong with saying that, in fact, it's very natural to say it, just that i don't want to hear it :P). i know everybody will feel heartache for nathan coz he really wailing and very poor thing! i'm just trying to avoid all these...all i need in moment like this is support...whether i do it right or wrong, i just need support. i'm thankful jem does that.

i myself, emotionally more draining than physically, my heart ache till i feel very unenergetic everyday. then every alternate day, i have headache....to make things even worst, all the 'technology' around me makes me feel sick!

that 1.5 weeks...last night is a miracle to me...first time he slept through...till almost 6am...i don't hold much hope though, coz there're many times when i thought there's progress, the next sleep is a disaster to me...

i hope this will be over soon. i hope he'll learn not to nurse to sleep soon, i hope he'll get the msg that even when he gets up in the middle of the night, no nursing and no other form of milk, just water, preferably just hug to sleep, that i don't mind....oh better still, sleep through :P

oh God, pleaseeeeeeeee, give me some beauty sleep before #3 comes..!!!

if you think pregnancy may lead you to have aversion only to food category...ehhh...maybe not for me.

baby #1 - no aversion of anything
baby #2 - chocolate
baby #3 - technology

i don't know whether you can believe this...anything which i once loved deeply can change drastically when i'm pregnant...

i don't face tv very long nowadays...my in laws love their grandchildren so much that they subscribed to kids channel recently...mann....i don't mean to be so mean, but i feel really sick!
i hate kids channel especially (oh yeah, i have selective aversion of certain channels)....other channels i don't know...sometimes it seems fine, but most of the time, cannot...i can't tahan facing the tv too long
i don't use internet as often now...i just do a quick update and read blogs and check email, then close the comp immediately...no more surfing...jem is the happiest, no longer i keep interrupting him to let me use the comp.
handphones...any handphones....too.

the only word i can use for the above things is 'sick'...very sick when i see, i hear and even think of it.

because of these, i turn to the conventional ways....i write most of my notes on notebook, i would rather read books, newspaper than tv, only if necessary then i touch the hp, else...it stays far far away from me...

i know i may need more help especially i'm pregnant and having to take care of the boys...but...i would rather stay at my own home, i can still manage the boys myself!!! and where i can have full control over what and how long to watch on a tv...i stayed at my home whole of last week...limit the boys to 2 cartoons a day...that's it! i would rather bring them out than having to have the tv on. i felt so much better the whole of last week...!

sorry, no rental of iphone...that's a gift from my bro.

instead of waiting till end of nov, i decided to see gynae for the first time on wed (5 nov)...

1. i actually can't wait to see my baby, don't care about that 'black hole' anymore
2. i want to get supplement as soon as possible
3. when i told my friend i'm experiencing morning sickness, she feels that i might have been pregnant for 'quite a while'...rather than what i thought...i'm only about 3-4 weeks pregnant...that actually prompted me to see earlier.

so pretty excited that day, it was a last min request for appointment change, thank God there's slot for me to go that very same day :D

yeah, though i told you i don't care about that black hole, i still ask God, i wish i can hear baby's heartbeat.
mann....the moment i saw my womb, then that sac...look like headphone to me, baby is sleeping at one of the corner...i saw limbs....i thought....gosh....looks like baby quite 'big' eh...

gynae said i'm 8 weeks and 6 days pregnant...(9 weeks)

which means...i've been pregnant since...september, and i didn't even notice at all!!! i had one preg test in middle of september!!! it's negative!!!

uhmmm....is that test faulty or what!!!????

anyway, edd: 11 jun 2009...earlier than expected...

it's ok, baby, whether you're early or late, welcome!

you know...ever since the annoucement of no.3

'the maid' topic is brought to live once again...

i've been thinking why i feel so 'hot' whenever in laws bring up the maid topic...why i responded so angrily whenever they suggest that we must have a maid.
whereas whenever jem brought up the topic, i'm not as angry as i should be...

now i know...it's the way a person put a msg across...

ok...maybe most of you may have forgotten, i have some skin problem on my left fingers...i can't touch chemical, soap, detergent, even water for too long, some dust...etc...whenever my fingers have any contact with these, it'll turn red, super duper itchy, sometimes bleed, skin crack...etc...till recently i found out myself, the name of my skin problem is dyshidrosis, a type of eczema.

so my in laws being concerned, said "you must have a maid because of your skin condition"


no.1 is on the way..."you better have a maid, don't think you can handle"
no.2 is on the way..."you better have a maid, how you handle?"
no.3 is on the way..."you better have a maid, you cannot handle"

the boys are getting handful, naughtier, and bit rebellion "better have a maid, how are you going to handle?"

the house always messy, sometimes have stacks and stacks of unfolded clothes "you gotta take care of the boys, got to do this and that, think you better have a maid"

the list goes on and on...they all meant well, but the ultimate hope is for us to have a maid.

and me....at the back of my mind, kept thinking (though i believe they may not be thinking this way, but being a 'think too much' person) "why you all think i cannot handle? the more you think, the more i protest and i am going to show you i can do it!!! so many mothers can do it, why can't i? why can't you think i can handle???"

to have a live-in maid in my home, that's an absolute NO!

so that's my in laws' way to have a maid.

how about jem?

"deary, i don't want to see you so tired, by having a maid, can free you to do more of your own things, you can rest more, can concentrate more on taking care of the boys and leave the house chore for the maid to do"

recently he met up with an old friend, he told jem...they are hoping to get a maid soon..."imagine you spent 3 hours cleaning up the house, you can have that 3 hours to have couple time" which is very important!

i may still disagree but am more open to hear that...

anyway, maybe God has already help us to solve where to 'deposit the maid' issue...

solution #1 - ian's kindy will be in bishan next year...
solution #2 - having #3

it's better to have the maid in bishan...to help ah po, ah gong, they're getting older, to take care of house chores, to free them to help take care of my boys + baby.
we'll be in bishan early EVERY MORNING, and go home EVERY NIGHT (possibly) and that's bed time...what for having a maid going home with us??? just to have car ride??? sorry hoh, my car no space!

my sis suggested part time cleaner, i'm open to that....instead of having jeremy to do the clean up every sat, maybe get part time cleaner.

had a new hair cut today...in far east plaza.

from orchard...came back, mother in law looked around my head, said even neighbourhood salon can cut this hairstyle...was told jokingly...take pictures of 4 sides of my head, show the hairdresser the kind of hairstyle i like next time, they're cheap and good, whereas the one in orchard is $35 + bus + mrt fare

i have been cutting my hair in bishan, 10 bucks only! it's walking distance and convenient...better for ah po for helping me taking care of the boys while i'm away for a short while, not too taxing for her and ah gong.

i wanted to change hairdresser...not just for different look (though still not much different after the haircut), but to change location...wanting to go somewhere outside the boundary of bishan, amk, sk...

to town, anywhere else....

the boys are big enough to play without having their mommy around, even if they cry, but only for a while, i want to do as many things as i can before no.3 comes...

it's great blessing to have children...but sometimes it's good to have some time alone.

i enjoyed myself today, walked around far east plaza a little bit, would love to stay longer but jem already wanting me to go home asap. i went to Tangs, bought something for myself...very happy.

so you all know nathan has got bronchitis yeah...

brought him to see pd when he still has fever on the 6th day. pd felt it's not a good thing to have fever for so long, just listened to his chest, he confirmed nathan has bronchitis right away, but wanted to do further check, to see if he has pneumonia, advised me to go mt alvernia for x-ray and blood test...if he has pneumonia, my poor boy will need to be hospitalised.

sound serious to me....though pd said "don't worry"

called jem right away, i don't know how serious but am already in tears when talking to jem over the phone.....while nathan, on the other hand, looked pretty ok and kept whacking my face and smiling at me (naughty!!!).

thank God jem decided to leave his work and met me at the hospital...found out i can't go into the x-ray room...pregnant...so waited for him to bring nathan in.

had lunch there and nathan made a lot of noise...i felt much better with jem around and of course with lynnette's (fread's wife) prayer, i felt peace within that nathan is gonna be alright.

brought the result bk to clinic again, and yap! only bronchitis, given this thingy called 'nebuliser' and antibiotic. nathan is much better now, had slight fever yesterday and went off by itself, so am super happy not having to give him paracetamol anymore! he's back to his normal self too, the super naughty monkey....snatching toys and climbing everywhere...:D

thanks for all the prayers :D will bring him bk for review tomorrow again, hope nathan recover asap, so that....

so that....

i can wean him off nursing to sleep!!! haizzz!!! ever since he's back to his nursing to sleep, he nursed like there's no tomorrow esp. when he wakes very early in the morning like 4-5am every morning...refuse to let go!!! i'm hot, my heart hot, he lied on me for so long till he's sweaty! it's the most frustrating moment in my breastfeeding career...seriously, i might be very pro-breastfeeding, but very often, it's no fun at all...esp when they wake up at wee hours and want to latch on forever.
told him many times "listen nathan, now you very 'song' huh, once you've recovered, NO MORE MILK MILK SLEEP!!! NO MORE!!!"

it's been a tough week...ian is recovering from cough and now nathan's turn...

brought him see doc last tuesday, then high fever on friday... that friday night...jem and i didn't sleep well at all, nathan woke up about every 20 mins of sleep the whole night, his fever is so high that we kept sponging him, i gotta nurse him whenever he wakes up, and only when he's nursing, he's not fussing while jem was sponging him. paracetamol doesn't help to bring the temperature down.

brought him to children emergency in kk hospital early next morning...doc said he caught a flu, given phlegm, nose block and 2 types of fever medicine, one is paracetamol, another is stronger, use only when hit 38.5c. so friday night onwards till today, only when he takes the strong medicine, his fever subsides, other than that, he's crying, clingy and grumpy throughout the day, he lost quite a bit of weight too, no appetite. and according to doc, that fever will last btw 3-5 days... it's the toughest nights i ever gone through...very very very tiring...but thankfully have in laws to help out in the day time. now...he's back to nursing to sleep again...no choice....i don't want him to cry till vomit anymore, and his fever is high...i attempted not to let him nurse and he vomited, poor boy :(...give him this 'special' treatment as he's not well...will have to start the training again when he's recovered...really dread to start all over again.

**with regards to my pregnancy, my mom in law thought we're making up stories to 'bedek' her...(^O^)...thanks to jem, con her so many times...and now she doesn't believe...asked me a few question today, to see if the pregnancy is real...well, she should believe by now...i hope...

when you just got married

"quickly have baby yeah, no need to have protection lah, go natural!"

when you have no.1, if is a boy

naturally people will say "next time try a girl, then can close factory already"

when you have no. 2 and still a boy

"next time try a girl, BUT not too soon please, wait till the boys grow a little bigger"

when it happens too soon

"so fast???"


ladies and gentlemen, i'm expecting no. 3 :D

it's all based on home pregnancy test only okie...nothing is firm...first test bought from 7-elevan, a pink color packaging preggy test box and i told myself i'll never ever buy that same test in future, saw a very very pale line, and even the paper said am still considered pregnant even it appeared 'very pale'...but am not convinced! my heart kept beating very fast the whole afternoon that day, wanting to buy another one but it rained heavily...i kept thinking am i really pregnant!!!?? given all the symptoms lately, shouldn't be wrong but still need some confirmation. so finally, went j8 and bought a 'clearblue' test with the word "pregnant" or "not pregnant". tested in the toilet....heart beat even faster while waiting for the result, it blink blink blink...quite long....

so there you go, the result said "pregnant"

till now, i haven't seen the baby yet....the gynae appointment will be towards end of nov...hopefully, if i calculate correctly, baby will be in 6-7 week. in fact, am dying to see...but if check now very 'bo hua', can only see a sac (just to find out how many sac you have that's all, mine should be singleton), no heartbeat in early stage...i remembered when i'm pregnant with nathan, gynae can only see the sac (to me is just a black hole) and was measured only 5th week pregnant based on the length of the womb sac.

the purpose of this announcement is to tell you to remember my baby in prayer. all i hope is...baby is healthy.

though is my 3rd pregnancy and with all those pregnancy symptoms like mild nausea, aversion of 'something', abdomen discomfort, i still have my doubts...everyday...whether i'm really pregnant. oh yeah, my previous entry about the side effects from the antibiotic is still true, after stopping the medication, i still suffered from nausea, but not as bad, that's where i started suspecting i might be expecting...

tested last wednesday...told jem on friday, told family on saturday and to all of you today.

very often no.3 faq is "is it an accident?"

you may get different answer from jem and me.

to jem is an accident...he was still thinking whether to have no.3, and even if want, but not so soon. but he still happy to receive the news.

to me?
maybe not quite...
i've been telling some of my friends, if want to have no.3, better be 'chop chop'....i just want to get it all done at one go. it's too tough for me to start all over after a long break......i'm half expected to happen, no no no, i didn't trap jem into it, i didn't keep track of my fertile period (ever since my 1st period returned 3 months ago, i didn't have period for the next 2 months, partly due to breastfeeding i think, no no no, i didn't get pregnant in the 1st missed period month!!! i'm very sure of that, it's e 2nd month), i didn't know it's so 準 only.

to standard christian answers...like what my sis, diana said to me
it's God's will....

it's God's will that ian's kindy will be in bishan next year.

a lot of changes, adjustment to be done....pls pray for us....am still not willing to move under the same roof with in laws....even though i knew there's more pros than cons...

saw doc last sunday, after taking medication for 4 days, there's no sign of improvement, in fact got worst, so went again on thursday together with ian...he's coughing too...think he's probably got the blessing from me...this time am given antibiotic...

i've never seen this medicine before...the medicine named 'erythromycin ethylsuccina'....chim yeah?!!! i had it for 3 days....i feel better...but i suffered the side effect like nausea (trust me! i thought i'm pregnant again, but i dismissed that because i don't have other pregnancy symptoms) and loss appetite (**i may not feel like eating, but i still eat a lot in the end**) and fast heart rhythm. really don't like to have that feeling you know!!! decided to go online to check out this medicine...

source: http://www.drugs.com/erythromycin.html

Erythromycin side effects

Get emergency medical help if you have any of these signs of an allergic reaction: hives; difficulty breathing; swelling of your face, lips, tongue, or throat. Call your doctor at once if you have any of these serious side effects:

• chest pain, uneven heartbeats, feeling light-headed or fainting;

• nausea, stomach pain, low fever, lost appetite, dark urine, clay-colored stools, jaundice (yellowing of the skin or eyes); or

• diarrhea that is watery or bloody.

Less serious side effects may include:

• mild nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, or stomach pain;

• dizziness, headache, feeling tired;

• vaginal itching or discharge; or

• mild itching or skin rash.

"Erythromycin can pass into breast milk and may harm a nursing baby."

geeeee!!! i don't know about the pharmaceutical terms...just that 'erythromycin' word alone is ENOUGH to stop me eating it though i know i should complete the whole course. the doctor knows i'm breastfeeding and yet still prescribed me this medicine...this is not the 1st time...the last time the doctor said "if you're not comfortable, then stop taking it". i didn't take that medicine and let my body heals slowly. i guess...that's the price to pay when you choose the breastfeeding path....you can't take a lot of medicine...

should i ask for another medicine? nahhhhh....not from him, not from another doc....i don't want to take any medicine anymore....i just hope i recover soon....

yes yes!!! picture speaks thousand words

yes bernie, cozai has got a new iphone!!!

thank you, alfred!!!! my bro!!! thank you thank you thank you!!!

here's the story.
i received it last thursday...managed to make nathan sleep without nursing. ian was in playgroup. received a phone call from fedex asking whether i'm home, so i thought, that's probably for jeremy, you know, some documents from the government or sth. so i opened the door, saw a box shaped parcel...attn to me, from hong kong. parcel content stated "document" and pretty light and have my brother and his friend's name in it. so i thought my bro sent the parcel over here for me to keep for him...called him to verify.

he said it's for me! asked me to unwrap it...
let me tell you, i wasn't feeling that good that day, falling sick since tuesday, nose block, coughing and phlegmy, quite hard to breathe and feeling lil giddy too...the moment i saw some iphone accessories...and then a brown box...i told myself, no...can't be true!!! i shouted with excitement when i saw the iphone white box from e brown box...totally forgotten that i'm sick :P

SURPRISE! VERY VERY SURPRISE! was so happy, so happy that i kept saying thank you to my bro! totally unexpected...a white 16gb iphone! exactly what i've been wanting to get. my bro got his friend to buy for me in hong kong...an unlocked iphone :D told jem about it and he's very happy for me too :D

so 1st night i charged for 8 hours.
2nd night i explored the phone and downloaded some free applications till 2am++
3rd night i jailbreak the phone and installed some more free apps too till 2am+++
4th night, i restored it back to original setting and will jailbreak again after a few more days, messed up some stuff in the phone, haha, so i restored...intend to jailbreak on the same night, but am too sick (of course! been sleeping super late for the last 2 nights), and my medicine made me very drowsy...i woke up 2-3 times at night, not knowing why i wake up...thought our boys are sleeping with me but they're sound asleep in another room.

still getting used to the keyboard, but i like it :D

thank you alfred! it's really a surprise birthday gift for me!

6 October 2008

today is the day, i told myself...this is it, i shall start today.

i decided to wean nathan from nursing to sleep. i'll still continue to give him nurse him, so long as he doesn't use it as a pacifier to make him sleep. been hesitated to do it, thinking how to do the 'sleep training' when ian is around, thinking what if ian just started to nap and nathan cries till he wakes up, will ian fall back to sleep or will nathan decided not to sleep again, wasted his crying time? , what should i do if nathan wakes up in the middle of the night, and i'm trying not to nurse him sleep, but he cries till neighbour knocking hard on the floor to say 'shut up!!! i need to sleep!'?...

i enjoy nursing nathan, maybe not so much on the night wakings...ian joined in the night waking marathon recently too (don't know why, but i just need to act and run fast enough before his voice wakes nathan up)...so i've been running between the 3 rooms every night. nathan wakes up more often towards the early morning...i don't keep track what time and how many times...all i know is many many times. maybe that's when i feel, enough is enough!!!

anyway, been thinking about weaning for weeks...so even i still not decided...i started telling nathan about his 'no milk milk to sleep' warnings for at least one week ago.



day 1 - monday
day time - cried for 80 mins
bedtime - didn't really cry
midnight - cried for don't know how long, i gave in, nurse him

day 2 - tuesday
day time - cried for 15 mins
bedtime - didn't really cry (i think)
midnight - woke up twice, 1st time manage to get him back to sleep, 2nd time i nursed him

day 3 - wednesday
day time - cried < 5 mins
bedtime - didn't really cry
midnight - woke up and cried for > 1 hour, then stop crying when i adjusted his diaper, and suddenly awake for the next don't know how long and trying to wake his bro ian up too (ian got woken up by nathan's cry and came to nathan's room and slept there)...i'm super exhausted and just lied down, found out he slept on me when i woke up

day 4 - thursday
day time - cried < 5 mins
bedtime - no cry
midnight - max 2 times (but no nursing to sleep)

day 5 - friday
day time - no crying
bedtime - no crying
slept through

day 6 - saturday (last night)
day time - don't know...nathan at in law's place, they settled him to sleep
bed time - no cry
midnight - woke up once, think cried a while, think stuffy nose, agitated

sounds good yeah? i didn't leave him alone to cry though, i 'bao bao' him during his sleep training...people sleep training means let the baby settle themselves to sleep, leave them in the cot and out of the room, went in after 10 mins, to assure them they're fine and parents love them, then slowly increasing the time to 15mins, 20mins....before going in...baby will learn eventually. my friend, lynnette (fread's wife) did it recently too, now she's a not too tired mommy, coz her little baby adam can fall asleep by himself without having her around and sleep through the night ever since then.

mine is i'm with the baby...sounds like no difference to nursing right? still stuck with him till he fall into deep sleep, in fact i feel it takes longer time. would love to be like lynnette though, but not that i can't, i guess i don't want. now that nathan no longer wakes up so many times, max 2 times...i guess i just hope he'll sleep through the night one day.

oh! did i say support group is important too? when i first weaned ian, jem is the only one i look to. now nathan's, i have lynnette to pray and encourage me, have jem's support and i have samantha to listen to all my woes of disciplining ian :)

after this, i can go out with jem without worrying too much!!! coz nathan can sleep without nursing!!! wohohhhh!!!

it's a testing period this week...my boy is only turning to 3 year old soon, already i feel i'll have heart attack and high blood pressure soon, very very soon.

so naughty!!!

keep pushing, beating nathan, beat and sometimes yell at jeremy, speak loudly to his grandparents and great-grandparents.

at playgroup, he's been doing the 'fighting' action, teacher has to stop him as he's about to hit other kids.

most of the time, i'm feeling as though i'm talking to a wall, he doesn't listen, doesn't respond, not till i stand in front of him, make him look at me!!! then he responds.

really, i've to confessed that many times, i ended up screaming at him, use hanger (haven't buy cane at home) to punish him, or lock him up in the storeroom (not too long of course)...

right or wrong way? mannnnn, i don't know you know, i'm so mad that time...so so mad!!!

it doesn't end here okie. he has this 'keep scratching his face and nose' habit recently...every 5-10 secs he does it! so bad that he started to have pimples recently. i have this habit....(blame me), but don't think i'm that bad (am an adult, can control), for kids, they seem to MAGNIFY that habit!!! having to tell him off not to scratch is a super hard work for the past 2 weeks!!! everybody at home was annoyed by his habit, i have no idea how to stop it. oh well, monkey see monkey do yeah...i don't know how to kick that obsessesed habit from him...pray.

3 years old is like that...wait till he grow up....

now is ian, next is nathan....soon both...

it's time to look for some parents support group liao...advices needed.

it's time to re-evaluate myself too, maybe i've been a bad example...it's ok...iron sharpens iron....discipline period! discipline whole life through...i've got to be consistent with my action, be firm to those obviously no-no stuff! not going to give in. establishing good habit is a hard work, but after a while, it'll pay off!!! must remind myself that!!! God, You gotta help me! keep me alive okie.

sorry mates, i just need to get this off my chest...

no, no, no, i don't want a maid

no, no, no, i said i don't want a maid

even if one day...if i have #3 (i'm not pregnant) one day, i still don't want to have a maid!

faq: but, can you handle so many kids? so many works you know...you cannot handle...you NEED a maid.

oh pleaseeeeeee, whether or not i can handle, for the last time, i said I DON'T WANT A MAID!

i would rather be tired, rather have loads of work to do at home, rather go crazy and complain over the blog, whine and drinks cups and cups of coffee

I DON'T WANT A MAID.

how about part time maid? part time? don't think it works for me, especially having 2 boys at home...you can get the floor very very super clean one minute, then spilled milk and food or even pee the next min.

having a maid is the last last last thing at the back of my mind, i'm not saying i'll never get a maid, that depends on circumstances.

i don't hate maids, in fact i grew up with maids back in my hometown, i don't remember any bad encounter with all the maids last time, some very submissive, others bad tempered, grumble but still do what we asked them to do :) those grumbled normally work with us for many years already, some love to blast their malay music while doing housework, i'll just listen with them, some never open their room door no matter how hard and long we knocked at their doors after 10pm, whether they do it purposely or really deep deep into their (yes, 2 of them, both never respond) dreamland and some stole our stuff on the day when they 'resign' or got fired. whether they're good or bad, it doesn't really bother me.

and i have good relationship with my in law's ex-maid (bebe), she took care of my boys very well, my boys like her a lot (till now ian still asks for her and mention her quite often as though she's part of the family), i trust her and i know it's a lot easier when you have helper to take care of the mess, to cook, and i'll have more opportunity to bake without having to wash all the oily utensils, and when i go shopping, i have another hands to help me to take care one of my boys...it's good to have maid! all these i know and i aware.

but i still don't want a maid!

i value my privacy. that's all.

cute nathan

"mommy, can i hold the camera?"

daddy used to tell mommy he prefers older woman, i agreed with him, check out how me and nathan tackle our neighbour jie jie.





come! let's remove all the dirt from this 飯桶


we help mommy to reorganise her mess. let's check if there's anymore canned food



see what we did!


mooncake festival: ian and his cousin






pig house #1


pig house #2


big bad wolf blow down kor kor's house, kor kor pengsan behind

i'm having headache
i'm very tired
i just recovered from runny nose
i just finished watching project runway
i'm surfing the net now...

it's 12:23am now...still not sleeping???

my boys are sleeping later and later...from sleeping by 9:30pm to 10:30pm, sometimes close to 11pm...have mercy on me! you cepat cepat sleep, then i'll have more 'me' time to do whatever i want!

ian just told me his 3 little pigs stories...from starting of the story, digress to talking about his playgroup, then talk about things in market very expensive, chicken expensive, tomato, apple, fish expensive, then got distracted by the noise upstairs...someone dragging the chair, asking me
"is it grandma dragging the chair? is it uncle? is it aunty? is it grandpa?"
"why uncle drag the chair, why?"
"i scared of the....the the..the helicopter, later bang me, then got blood come out, then i see doctor, doctor said don't play helicopter"
"mommy, i check whether you got fever, no fever...i got fever, i need medicine, can i go out?"
"teacher cheryl said don't fight, later tell mommy"

jem is in kl for 5 days...i have the car all by myself. oh...staying with in laws whole week too. so...this whole week, been sending joyce to work, sending ian to playgroup, waiting for his class to end, then settle lunch outside...back to bishan, cuddle my dear nathan as i miss him dearly, play with them a bit, nap time for the boys, wake up and play, bathe and feed them dinner...play time and bed time...whole week has been like this.

of course, the 1st 2 days of the week is more happening,
1st day - went to compasspoint all by myself while waiting for ian's playgroup to end...feeling funny and feel 'free'...without having to push pram and carrying a bag with baby stuff, oh...the boys too. bought some body shop products and went to singtel to try out iphone...uhmm...not bad, but started to think btw nokia and iphone now.

2nd day - went j8 with ian after his playgroup, bought 2 pouches :D

3rd day - again, while waiting for ian, folding and ironing clothes, left 10 mins of me time, finally flipped the bible, thank God for His word that day, just sitting on the sofa, looking at my home...mannnnn...i miss my own home...this house is so cosy!!! why ian prefers his grandparents place than his own home! ngiaoooo!!!!!

4th day - start buying grocery, stock up for next week. ian told me, i like ah gong house, i don't like sengkang (his own home). sianzzzz, i miss my own home so much and you tell me that! didn't go anywhere else...straight bk to bishan, not going out. sick of outside food, cook instant noodle for ian and myself.

5th day - jem will be back tomorrow! yay! miss him so so so much!

each time when i'm out with ian, i miss nathan. i know he's in good hand with ah gong and ah po...but i simply miss him a lot. i like the part when we just reach home, looking at me, running towards me and want me to 'bao bao' him...my heart just melt!

1:06am...headache is getting worse...sleep? see how...but am stopping here now.

from music jukebox every night....now is story telling period during their bedtime.

the only thing is...

the story title is always the same.... 'the three little pigs'.

that's ian current favourite bedtime story for the past 2 weeks. i gotta tell the story an average 4 times a day. 2 times during nap time, another 2 times night time. used to be at least 3 times okie!!! i tried to finish the story as fast as i could so that ian would go to sleep, but he will ask me to repeat again and again...now...my pig story is quite a long version...not very original now...a lot of 'geh liao'.

anyway, as it is their sleeping time, i try not to make overly excited...sekali both eyes big big looking at me and refuse to sleep....how??? because i sounded so boring, i ended up feeling sleepy while telling them the story...and the story...always ended up has a lot of irrelevant content in it...

don't know what i mean right? let me explain...

not only the boring story, the mattress or bed is my weakest link...the moment my body touch the mattress, that's it...i'll talk nonsense...coz i'm struggling to keep awake...so the whole time...i keep switching between dreaming mode and conscious mode....

i can drift off to dreamland when telling him story...so if i dream i'm buying coke in the market...when the storyline is that the pig supposed going to buy bricks to build his new home...i would say the pig went to buy coke to build his new home in the market....something like that. it's not intentional...i'm so so so sleepy! by the time i realised i'm actually half awake and half asleep and speak the wrong words...i just continue, ian still listening...and didn't correct me!

content different, the story ending also different...today the big bad wolf blow the brick house so many times till pengsan, and the pig called the police to put him to jail, tonight's ending is the pig place a big boiling pot and cook the wolf as supper when the wolf trying to get into his brick home through the chimney.

maybe i should try cantonese version tomorrow.

this hour this moment, i miss the early zion praise harvest days again...(oh...not again).

told you i'm in deep thoughts yeah...

i wanted to find a day...that i can just sit down and think through...

fat hope lah! the 2 monkeys make me so busy. climb here and there, running everywhere, ian talks non-stop, nathan moves non-stop. when both of them finally sleep at night...i don't want to think anymore...just want to face the comp and surf aimlessly....after 1-2 hours...i'm too tired...zzzzz....

ok...will think about it the next day, then the next day, then the next day...

and now...maybe i shouldn't find that one day, coz that one day will never come.
so i'm learning to think about it throughout the day, when chasing after the boys, scolding, bathing, feeding, bringing ian to pee and poo, when they're playing with ah gong ah po...

i can think better when i write it down. i used to write journal...that journal is attention to my Jesus. yes, i write to Him, i always think i can talk to Him better by writing than to sit down and pray...i get wandered away too easily. i still write but not very often now...once i start writing, i'll write almost everyday, but once i stop, it can be easily at least 3-4 months...so can you imagine how long have i not been talking to Him...with my 100% full attention?

anyway, i'm thinking about what to cook everyday, what to do with the boys everyday.
nathan is turning from very easy to feed baby to super fussy boy. very often, i ended up having to finish his food and go to the pantry, standing there, wondering what else to cook for him...

am thinking...what do i really want to do? what's my passion?

am thinking...feeling bad that i've not been a good mother? people around me always ask

"have you been teaching him nursery rhymes?"
"when you give or show him something, do you teach him, "a is for apple, o is for orange...etc, he must learn you know, must teach him many thing when he's still young"
"when you feed him food, you must tell him, it's good to eat fruits, meat and vege, that will make him strong, healthy, grow tall"
"when daddy comes home, you must teach him to greet, say "hello daddy, welcome home!!! must teach him good habit"
"connie, you must teach him how to hold the spoon properly"
"connie, you must teach him to sit properly, else he will fall down one day"
"do you tell him stories everyday?"
"do you ask him to read books?"
"ouch, his finger nail is so long and sharp, you didn't cut his nail ah? wait till he cut his face, must cut whenever it's long"
"do you give him fruits, they must eat at least one kind of fruit everyday"
"must give him drink plenty of water"
....the list goes on and on...

a lot of things seem very common sense...and it's true, to teach a child and especially comes to establishing good habit, you must start young...

i'm struggling with that...always feel guilty i didn't do as often as i should at the end of the day. i don't know how to tell you...you may think as stay at home mom, i have all the time and liberty to do...i know a lot of moms do that...unfortunately, i'm not...i'm too layback and many things i take things too lightly...e.g. so long as he can prick that fruit and put into his mouth, it's fine for me, but for some family members, he must hold a fork properly...you know? things like that?

uhmm...everyday...i'll try to be a better mom...but very often, i forget what i should do as a parent...

after iphone, what's next?

iphone finally available in singapore last month...am so crazy about it and yet i haven't bought it, bo bian...my contract is not up...haven't even reached 18-month, not under singtel, and m1 and starhub said they will sell iphone by the end of this year...i'm under m1.

september, october, november, december...another 4 months....

what so good about iphone? i don't know :P maybe is the hype. i think when comes to functionality, it can't beat my nokia...nokia serves all my needs, only thing is limited memory...but someone said, once you jailbreak your iphone, you can do many things.."the sky is the limit", i wonder how true.

again, i repeat this from my previous entry, as a stay at home mom, i just want something to look forward to rather than nothing. i have a lot of notes in my 6300 nokia phone, e.g. recipes, sermon notes, grocery list, wishlist...everything...etc...till yesterday, my dear phone tells me "MEMORY FULL"....yiiiiiiaaaakkkksss!!! what? i can't add new notes? and trust me, i wanted to tell jem so badly that i want a new phone NOW!! sekarang!!! now now now!!! all because of...i want to write note in my phone which is important to me...knowing jem...he's probably continue playing his fm, my temporary solution to 'run out of notes' issue can be solved by writing on the paper....yeah?

....after iphone...i gotta think what's next...

clothes!!! yes! new clothes for cny!

i just found out joyce has a super long list of online shopping blogs. it's done by young sweet uni students...either for their projects or to earn extra pocket money at the same time...a lot of nice clothes out there....they look so nice wearing on it...

uhmmm...a 32 year old woman looking at 20++ years old clothes.....

come come come, let me show you one example...http://flirtydolly.livejournal.com/

looking back at my working days...my dressing is super boring...black or grey pants everyday with dull tops...and now...i wish i know how to dress up nicely. joyce is very good at that, she dress up very nicely and very pretty to work everyday. so nice :D

uhmm...nevermind, i'll try to look nice and dress up nice when i go out too...

came across this thread from a parenting forum...someone provides services like come to your home and teach you how to make up, tell you which color suits you etc...i'm very interested at that...$100 for that service, i really don't mind paying that amount...i will do that one day, wait till i wean nathan from nursing to sleep, i'll do it! yeah...i've been thinking how to wean...it's easy (think so) to wean ian from nursing to sleep last time...nobody at home, only me and him...cry for one week (i heart ache and cried with him the whole week)...then he weaned. but now...i have 2 boys at home...sigh...how...?

after clothes, my next target is probably a videocam...am going to stop now...don't want to talk about it...

tata

sorry mates,

would love to update but am not in good state recently, i mean not physically.

need some quiet moment, doing soul searching, reflection or whatever you call it :D

will be back okie.

hi all, am in silent mode at the moment...will let pictures do the talking.

On pizza day

ready to put into oven :D

ta taaaa! look nice yeah! i had 2 slices of pizzas that day, mommy ate the rest

Go to daddy's office day

this is how daddy greets people


this is daddy's expression when he's working


when work is done, we went uncle khia tun's restaurant (shin kushiya) for lunch. uncle ordered food that can serve 6 adults, but there are only 3 adults and 2 kiddos...


it's ok...mommy can finish most of it.

Other days

daddy brought us swimming at aunty cynthia's condo

sometimes we draw......and we fight for colours later


we watch thomas and friends together


there's some construction going on outside, we like to climb high high to watch together

Nathan's 1st birthday

celebrated nathan's birthday 1 week before nathan's birthday with grandparents. we celebrated again on nathan's actual birthday that day.


"nathan, i help you blow the candle"


"i help you take out the candle"


"i help you eat??!!"


first time eating cheesecake look

zzzzzzz...after the cheesecake feast, 2 boys and 1 big boy are all sleeping together.



good night everybody...