mentioned you that ian is in the appletree playgroup waiting list right?
the teacher contacted me 2 nights ago...there's vacancy next month. met up with the teacher and found out more about the playgroup today...finally, i signed up for ian. 15 kids taken care by 2 adults, it's air conditioned, but just for 1.5 hours, think is alright. i saw many parents/grandparents sending the kids there, all the them seem ok and didn't struggle...and suay suay i talked to a mom whose son has been crying for 2 months...still can't get used to the environment...that makes me worried whether ian can get used to it. the teacher (named janice) advised me not to say 'bye' too long with ian, what she meant is say bye and disappear immediately! she'll just carry him in straight away. don't just say bye and kena superglue, still standing there and say bye bye like no tomorrow. mannnn...tough for a protective mom like me.
most mothers can only give me this advice, 'you just have to harden your heart and go, they'll get used to it eventually'....yeah i know, i wonder 'how long' can i tahan...1-2 days nevermind, 2 months...die lah! he cries i also cry. then this mother said that she just got to do it! this playgroup only 1.5 hours, consider very short, next year is nursery...half day. her boy need to get used to it.
i can only hope ian will like the environment and doesn't take long to get used to it. my boy grows up liao...going to playgroup liao...next time nursery, kindergarten, primary, secondary....etc....uhmm...sounds like i'm going to have a lot of 'pak toh' time with jem, haha. going to all the nice makan place and enjoy! wahhh haha!
Sunday, February 24, 2008
losing it as SAHM
am reading this topic from the asiaparent forum...'losing it as SAHM' (another feeling guilty story)...yeah...i do feel it sometimes...
not that i'm bored facing them...i love them a lot. just that sometimes i come to a point when i don't know what to do with them...feeling guilty of doing the same thing everyday...running out of ideas. feeling guilty of leaving them alone, calling for attention when i'm busy doing house chores like the never-ending dish washing and cleaning. sometimes i'm just plain tired even to talk or stand up to kick ball. sometimes, i simply bring them to go for train ride (coz no need to talk), but the thought of carrying a 8kg boy and pushing a 2 year old boy on the pram is tiring too. want to go out, but too tired to go out. haha, reading from the forum, looks like ALL parents have never ending of feeling guilty, whether you're working full or part time, working at home mom or stay at home mom...no ending
i have many outdoor plans in mind. want to bring them to airport to see planes, bring them to shopping centres, go botanic garden, other child friendly places (which so far i don't know where)...all these places seem so far to me...spend bomb in taxi fare...but will all these be worthied? can anyone tell me?
my mom is asking when will i putting ian to playgroup or day care or any enrichment classes...i gotta confess that i've not been actively searching for it...the one in my neighbourhood is already full...was told in waiting list, but i doubt that will ever be my turn...sometimes, i'm just wondering, why do i need to send him to child care, isn't that defeat the purpose of being a SAHM?? i stay home so as to take care of him right?..if by sending him to child care or enrichment class later..does it mean he'll lost out as compared to other kids who attend earlier when he grows up, or more stupid as compared to other kids...?
let me digress a bit
am using m1 mobile broadband now...mannnn....so super duper slow...am glad our contract is ending this month...can't wait to end it! so please, if you have very little time for yourself, invest in faster internet connection though may cost a bit. like what i'm facing now...each page take ages to load! grrrrraaaaaaahhhh!!!!!
ok...back to initial topic...
anyway, am thinking to bring the boys to amk hub tomorrow...they have some 1.5 hours enrichment class there...$15 for trial class...hope not full (but does 'not full' means the centre not so good??? see see!!! think so much again). what to do? i can't believe i'm so affected by what ian said 'want ah gong house, no mommy house'. trying hard to please a 2-year old boy! trying hard to win his favor for his own home, though...i know nothing beats grandparents home...! but still fight for favor...don't know why i'm doing it!
anyway, very late now...spent 2 hours writing this blog...don't know what i'm writing. good night.
not that i'm bored facing them...i love them a lot. just that sometimes i come to a point when i don't know what to do with them...feeling guilty of doing the same thing everyday...running out of ideas. feeling guilty of leaving them alone, calling for attention when i'm busy doing house chores like the never-ending dish washing and cleaning. sometimes i'm just plain tired even to talk or stand up to kick ball. sometimes, i simply bring them to go for train ride (coz no need to talk), but the thought of carrying a 8kg boy and pushing a 2 year old boy on the pram is tiring too. want to go out, but too tired to go out. haha, reading from the forum, looks like ALL parents have never ending of feeling guilty, whether you're working full or part time, working at home mom or stay at home mom...no ending
i have many outdoor plans in mind. want to bring them to airport to see planes, bring them to shopping centres, go botanic garden, other child friendly places (which so far i don't know where)...all these places seem so far to me...spend bomb in taxi fare...but will all these be worthied? can anyone tell me?
my mom is asking when will i putting ian to playgroup or day care or any enrichment classes...i gotta confess that i've not been actively searching for it...the one in my neighbourhood is already full...was told in waiting list, but i doubt that will ever be my turn...sometimes, i'm just wondering, why do i need to send him to child care, isn't that defeat the purpose of being a SAHM?? i stay home so as to take care of him right?..if by sending him to child care or enrichment class later..does it mean he'll lost out as compared to other kids who attend earlier when he grows up, or more stupid as compared to other kids...?
let me digress a bit
am using m1 mobile broadband now...mannnn....so super duper slow...am glad our contract is ending this month...can't wait to end it! so please, if you have very little time for yourself, invest in faster internet connection though may cost a bit. like what i'm facing now...each page take ages to load! grrrrraaaaaaahhhh!!!!!
ok...back to initial topic...
anyway, am thinking to bring the boys to amk hub tomorrow...they have some 1.5 hours enrichment class there...$15 for trial class...hope not full (but does 'not full' means the centre not so good??? see see!!! think so much again). what to do? i can't believe i'm so affected by what ian said 'want ah gong house, no mommy house'. trying hard to please a 2-year old boy! trying hard to win his favor for his own home, though...i know nothing beats grandparents home...! but still fight for favor...don't know why i'm doing it!
anyway, very late now...spent 2 hours writing this blog...don't know what i'm writing. good night.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
2 vs 3
roy chan came to visit us recently. urhhhh...think few weeks ago...good time catching up, very happy to see this bro. makes me miss the good old days again. oh, for those of you who know 'ian lee'...he's a papa now, baby born in 1 feb 2o08...sorry, forgot to ask boy or girl :P.
roy asked me this question...which i realise a lot of people asking me this question too...
when to have no. 3?
i told him, i have 2 years to consider. if i want, i want 'chop chop' !!! pop all at one go, tahan another 3-4 years of sleepless cum interrupted nights cum no nap....then back to my precious uninterrupted sleep for good!
anyway, i don't mind to have no. 3. i like babies...
i have this thought at the back of my mind...am going to share with you...but i hope that will not stop you from having kids or having more...this is just MY THOUGHTS. i know i think too much, but am just sharing :P.
am thinking about disaster, end times or should anything happen that requires us to RUN for our lives...ever since the singapore tremor's incident...thank God i was at in law's place, we all walked down together, and they carried one of my boys. i can't imagine if i'm alone with the boys in my own place...i can carry at most 2 (yeah, if emergency happens, you'll realise you have a lot of bull strength all of sudden), but what happen if 3? it makes me think...to run down from my home to ground floor through the stairs, or run to some safer place...not easy you know ...
then food shortage here and there, all price goes up. jem the only bread winner, tougher for him...
better stop now...don't think i can type all the concerns here. my mind is very messy...talk so much, wondering why i want tell you this, want to delete this entry liao! but delete this entry means the time spent in writing this all go down the drain...
so...you just read, don't ask me why i write it.
roy asked me this question...which i realise a lot of people asking me this question too...
when to have no. 3?
i told him, i have 2 years to consider. if i want, i want 'chop chop' !!! pop all at one go, tahan another 3-4 years of sleepless cum interrupted nights cum no nap....then back to my precious uninterrupted sleep for good!
anyway, i don't mind to have no. 3. i like babies...
i have this thought at the back of my mind...am going to share with you...but i hope that will not stop you from having kids or having more...this is just MY THOUGHTS. i know i think too much, but am just sharing :P.
am thinking about disaster, end times or should anything happen that requires us to RUN for our lives...ever since the singapore tremor's incident...thank God i was at in law's place, we all walked down together, and they carried one of my boys. i can't imagine if i'm alone with the boys in my own place...i can carry at most 2 (yeah, if emergency happens, you'll realise you have a lot of bull strength all of sudden), but what happen if 3? it makes me think...to run down from my home to ground floor through the stairs, or run to some safer place...not easy you know ...
then food shortage here and there, all price goes up. jem the only bread winner, tougher for him...
better stop now...don't think i can type all the concerns here. my mind is very messy...talk so much, wondering why i want tell you this, want to delete this entry liao! but delete this entry means the time spent in writing this all go down the drain...
so...you just read, don't ask me why i write it.
king size bed
if you're getting married and want to get mattress, and if budget allows...get KING SIZE okie...
we've got a queen size bed...not complaining...we spent bomb on our mattress and we love it to bits! just that if given a choice again, we would choose king size...
if only both of us sleeping, i would say just nice...good enough...but if you have kids is different.
ian and nathan have their own room...but sometimes i pretty enjoy to have my boys sleeping with us....love them when they sleep beside me, i love it when they woke up middle of the night, call for me and all i do is to touch or hug, they'll just fall back to sleep, then for breastfeeding, just sit up and nurse rather than get out of bed and walk to the room. sometimes, i'll just carry one of the boys (in the middle of the night) to sleep with us...but just add one small kid, jem and i feel crammed....the way ian sleeping pattern like 360 degree turn the entire night....then i'm the ganjiong spider type, kept thinking whether he sleeps well, whether he's comfortable...then the whole night, i didn't sleep well, coz i made a lot of adjustment due to the limited space...but still want to sleep with them :P
not sure what i said make sense...anyway, buy king size ok...no kids also nevermind...bigger space...nice!
we've got a queen size bed...not complaining...we spent bomb on our mattress and we love it to bits! just that if given a choice again, we would choose king size...
if only both of us sleeping, i would say just nice...good enough...but if you have kids is different.
ian and nathan have their own room...but sometimes i pretty enjoy to have my boys sleeping with us....love them when they sleep beside me, i love it when they woke up middle of the night, call for me and all i do is to touch or hug, they'll just fall back to sleep, then for breastfeeding, just sit up and nurse rather than get out of bed and walk to the room. sometimes, i'll just carry one of the boys (in the middle of the night) to sleep with us...but just add one small kid, jem and i feel crammed....the way ian sleeping pattern like 360 degree turn the entire night....then i'm the ganjiong spider type, kept thinking whether he sleeps well, whether he's comfortable...then the whole night, i didn't sleep well, coz i made a lot of adjustment due to the limited space...but still want to sleep with them :P
not sure what i said make sense...anyway, buy king size ok...no kids also nevermind...bigger space...nice!
Friday, February 22, 2008
i've been fighting to keep myself awake every afternoon, always sleepy but can't sleep coz both boys nap time are different...ian's nap time changes again...now he sleeps at 4.30pm and wakes up at 6 plus and now he sleeps at 10pm or later instead of by 9.30pm...which also means....my personal time is getting lesser. then, nathan wakes up a lot of time at night...i really wonder how can i make it each day.....uhmm....food is my pal...:D
brought ian and nathan to hougang mall yesterday...i asked ian 'you like peach tart? mommy buy for you', he said 'like'...'ok, let's go and get.'..hehe, think i'm so kind mother huh!!! actually i'm the one who's craving for peach tart! haha! peach tart from hans cafe...is the liang household all time favourite. so there we went, i ended up buying more food, 2 sardines curry puffs, 1 yam pie, 1 green filling pie from old chang kee, 1 cheesecake and 4 peach tarts from hans, then some groceries from cold storage....very fruitful trip...came home half dead but our boys want to play ball...nathan loves to play ball too...yeah...with me carrying him, of course fun!
speaking of ball...ian no longer the boy who will pick ball whenever we ask him to...smart chap now! know how to command people to pick too...both of us play ball on the bed, and the ball ended up rolling out of the room...we both look at each other...
ian: "mee mee, take!!!!"
me: (豈有此理!!!) "你拾!每次都係我拾!"
ian: "mee mee, take"
me: "不要, 你拾!"
------this went on for at least 5 times...and finally i won...he went to pick it up..------ \(^O^)/
so what do we do today? we used ian's diaper (loaded with his pee) as ball...playing in the room again, kicking the diaper everywhere...kick till the diaper burst and i spent some time cleaning it...yioks!
then ian passed me his guitar (mini plastic toy version)...want me to strum and he dance...i decided to sing christian song, and play like a worship leader (for a mini toy guitar, whatever chords i play, is always the same tone)...he stopped dancing, watching me singing and took his thomas train bag, walked out of the room....
we played basketball in the living room (5 mins only), i hanged a mini net on the grille, he slam dunk many times and i decided to sweep the floor while he's playing...nathan saw me holding the magic clean 'broom' and want to sweep too...ok...there you go, sweep the floor with your walker!
at night...before ian sleep
ian: "meeee, abc"
cozai: sing abc song
ian: "meeee, thomas train"
cozai: sing thomas train song
ian: "mee, moses"
cozai: sing the song from moses cartoon
ian: "mee, doodlebops"
cozai: sing doodlebops song...
-----then repeat the songs at least 5 times each-----cozai cannot tahan already, dying to bathe! thinking of using the computer....
cozai: "enough, no more liao...tomorrow"
ian: "meee, abc"
cozai: "tomorrow"
ian: "meee, moses"
cozai: tomorrow"
.......
day time, i'm a soccer player, night time i'm a music jukebox.
brought ian and nathan to hougang mall yesterday...i asked ian 'you like peach tart? mommy buy for you', he said 'like'...'ok, let's go and get.'..hehe, think i'm so kind mother huh!!! actually i'm the one who's craving for peach tart! haha! peach tart from hans cafe...is the liang household all time favourite. so there we went, i ended up buying more food, 2 sardines curry puffs, 1 yam pie, 1 green filling pie from old chang kee, 1 cheesecake and 4 peach tarts from hans, then some groceries from cold storage....very fruitful trip...came home half dead but our boys want to play ball...nathan loves to play ball too...yeah...with me carrying him, of course fun!
speaking of ball...ian no longer the boy who will pick ball whenever we ask him to...smart chap now! know how to command people to pick too...both of us play ball on the bed, and the ball ended up rolling out of the room...we both look at each other...
ian: "mee mee, take!!!!"
me: (豈有此理!!!) "你拾!每次都係我拾!"
ian: "mee mee, take"
me: "不要, 你拾!"
------this went on for at least 5 times...and finally i won...he went to pick it up..------ \(^O^)/
so what do we do today? we used ian's diaper (loaded with his pee) as ball...playing in the room again, kicking the diaper everywhere...kick till the diaper burst and i spent some time cleaning it...yioks!
then ian passed me his guitar (mini plastic toy version)...want me to strum and he dance...i decided to sing christian song, and play like a worship leader (for a mini toy guitar, whatever chords i play, is always the same tone)...he stopped dancing, watching me singing and took his thomas train bag, walked out of the room....
we played basketball in the living room (5 mins only), i hanged a mini net on the grille, he slam dunk many times and i decided to sweep the floor while he's playing...nathan saw me holding the magic clean 'broom' and want to sweep too...ok...there you go, sweep the floor with your walker!
at night...before ian sleep
ian: "meeee, abc"
cozai: sing abc song
ian: "meeee, thomas train"
cozai: sing thomas train song
ian: "mee, moses"
cozai: sing the song from moses cartoon
ian: "mee, doodlebops"
cozai: sing doodlebops song...
-----then repeat the songs at least 5 times each-----cozai cannot tahan already, dying to bathe! thinking of using the computer....
cozai: "enough, no more liao...tomorrow"
ian: "meee, abc"
cozai: "tomorrow"
ian: "meee, moses"
cozai: tomorrow"
.......
day time, i'm a soccer player, night time i'm a music jukebox.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
ai yahhh, i still want to have it leh....you wouldn't believe this...i actually dare to pay that amount of money. but i'm sure people would say 'siaoooo'!
alright, for a stay-at-home-mom, why need this kind of gadget right?...not working, no appointment, no project, no meetings...only taking care of the boys at home all the time. stay at home mom also needs some 'reward' you know! i use it to.....ahhhh....key in grocery list??? jem's flying schedules??? ahhh....some important event???...sermon notes (if i ever can listen 100%)...what else?? i know our current nokia phone can do all....but...uhm...i still want the iphone...
enough said, i continue reading my hardwarezone forum now....dreaming that i order via vpost...and reach my doorstep in next 2 weeks...woahhh haha...
iphone ah iphone, bila kamu datang!!!??? by the time iphone reaches singapore, 2nd generation iphone come out liao! then what? waiting for 2nd generation? 3rd generation?
my birthday is coming...(november)...all i need is 5 of you to give me 100 each (USD), i'll pay the shipping, custom fee, insurance fee...how's that??
Friday, February 15, 2008
forgive me k...
i've been busy these days...ah bo has discharged from hospice and staying with my in laws, and we no longer staying overnight there :D. so...busy taking care of the boys, busy....watching cantonese series...wahhh hahahaha, so cool...in cantonese ok!!! hong kong series! love it!
i turned on the comp many times at night...but switched it off in the end...can't blame me, i'm so deprived of cantonese version..all the hong kong series here are in mandarin. if you talk to me but i'm not listening...leave me alone okie...i'm concentrating...watching tv :P
a lot of changes recently...ever since chinese new year, ian doesn't take nap anymore, but he sleeps early...instead of 9pm...now is before 7pm all the way till next day. this new change is pretty good if we stay at home, not out :P but one more downside is...he feel tired in the afternoon, so ending up doing many things that drive me nuts (think overtired but still don't want to sleep (as stubborn as me) >:(...i need to go to blood bank...i lost too much blood...everyday ian makes me vomit blood.
heard about 'terrible two'? i better not using the word 'terrible'...maybe should change to 'challenging'...really moulding my character period...mould mould mould till my hair botak!!! gone are the days when ian will listen to what you said most of the time. i gotta confess that there are many times i ended up yelling at him. pinching nathan, knocking nathan's head, swept down my folded clothes many times, throw all the toys everywhere and refuse to pick them up, add food into his cup and kept stirring till the whole tray's wet, refuse to bathe and when finally bathe, refuse to come out....etc. then nathan's side, kept on crying for attention. but i thanked God that ian didn't cry to go grandparents place...coz honestly that will determine my mood...if he insist, i'll feel low the whole day. but hahahah...i learnt how to divert his attention...don't know how to share with you lah...anyway, it was a hectic week but i have my reward at night....the cantonese series.
it's a very nice ambience at night...quiet, dimmed light, sitting on the mat with big cushion behind with my macbook in front of me. but one thing is lacking...can't find good food...walked to the pantry many times, hoping to discover some 'miracle' food...(this is called false illusion)...don't really like to eat sweet stuff, thinking of dim sum (siu mai, ha gao, char siew bao), fried duck drumstick, chicken drumstick, then have maria (non-existence) to throw all the rubbish and wash dishes for me. shiok!!! anyway, no such food, ended up eating yogurt, apple and ice-cream...better than nothing.
another changes is...nathan has been waking up many times recently. he used to wake up once or twice in his first few months...but not now...i lost count the number of times he wakes up at night nowadays...feel very tired throughout the day but oh well...i made through it each day...wonder how but i did.
whether is 'challenging two' or 'attention seeking 6 months old'...i thanked God that i still enjoy taking care of my boys. love them very much.
i've been busy these days...ah bo has discharged from hospice and staying with my in laws, and we no longer staying overnight there :D. so...busy taking care of the boys, busy....watching cantonese series...wahhh hahahaha, so cool...in cantonese ok!!! hong kong series! love it!
i turned on the comp many times at night...but switched it off in the end...can't blame me, i'm so deprived of cantonese version..all the hong kong series here are in mandarin. if you talk to me but i'm not listening...leave me alone okie...i'm concentrating...watching tv :P
a lot of changes recently...ever since chinese new year, ian doesn't take nap anymore, but he sleeps early...instead of 9pm...now is before 7pm all the way till next day. this new change is pretty good if we stay at home, not out :P but one more downside is...he feel tired in the afternoon, so ending up doing many things that drive me nuts (think overtired but still don't want to sleep (as stubborn as me) >:(...i need to go to blood bank...i lost too much blood...everyday ian makes me vomit blood.
heard about 'terrible two'? i better not using the word 'terrible'...maybe should change to 'challenging'...really moulding my character period...mould mould mould till my hair botak!!! gone are the days when ian will listen to what you said most of the time. i gotta confess that there are many times i ended up yelling at him. pinching nathan, knocking nathan's head, swept down my folded clothes many times, throw all the toys everywhere and refuse to pick them up, add food into his cup and kept stirring till the whole tray's wet, refuse to bathe and when finally bathe, refuse to come out....etc. then nathan's side, kept on crying for attention. but i thanked God that ian didn't cry to go grandparents place...coz honestly that will determine my mood...if he insist, i'll feel low the whole day. but hahahah...i learnt how to divert his attention...don't know how to share with you lah...anyway, it was a hectic week but i have my reward at night....the cantonese series.
it's a very nice ambience at night...quiet, dimmed light, sitting on the mat with big cushion behind with my macbook in front of me. but one thing is lacking...can't find good food...walked to the pantry many times, hoping to discover some 'miracle' food...(this is called false illusion)...don't really like to eat sweet stuff, thinking of dim sum (siu mai, ha gao, char siew bao), fried duck drumstick, chicken drumstick, then have maria (non-existence) to throw all the rubbish and wash dishes for me. shiok!!! anyway, no such food, ended up eating yogurt, apple and ice-cream...better than nothing.
another changes is...nathan has been waking up many times recently. he used to wake up once or twice in his first few months...but not now...i lost count the number of times he wakes up at night nowadays...feel very tired throughout the day but oh well...i made through it each day...wonder how but i did.
whether is 'challenging two' or 'attention seeking 6 months old'...i thanked God that i still enjoy taking care of my boys. love them very much.
Friday, February 01, 2008
back to own home for the past 2 days....after staying at in laws' place for about 2 weeks.
was an unforgettable 2 days for me...
1st day
- got bruised swollen toe and pained for whole day after knocked accidentally at the sharp edge wall skirting. to spice up my life, ian occasionally stepped and kicked my toe accidentally....ouch ouch ouch!!!
- got a red swollen tongue, almost the size of a panadol after trying to rescue nathan from falling off the bed but ended up knocking my jaw on ian's head.
2nd day
spent 6 hours cleaning and clearing up the house last sunday till midnight...today, all back to square one...
- ian knocked down his plate from highchair...rice and soup! argh!
- the washing powder in the toilet dropped out suddenly (yeah, i don't know what have i done) and spilled all over...good time spraying.
- didn't wear ian's diaper properly, his wee wee leaked out and wet the floor
- nathan whined and cried the whole evening, tried sit, stand, nurse, face inward, outward, left right, walk, put him on walker, lie down....etc...still cry...nathan ah nathan, what you want??!!!
- kitchen is in a mess, kor kor likes to take out the pots and pan to do cooking, di di hates to stay in kitchen. can't clean, can't keep.
it's 11.57pm now...the boys are sleeping.
phewwwww.....tgif, daddy jem is not working tomorrow...yay.
was an unforgettable 2 days for me...
1st day
- got bruised swollen toe and pained for whole day after knocked accidentally at the sharp edge wall skirting. to spice up my life, ian occasionally stepped and kicked my toe accidentally....ouch ouch ouch!!!
- got a red swollen tongue, almost the size of a panadol after trying to rescue nathan from falling off the bed but ended up knocking my jaw on ian's head.
2nd day
spent 6 hours cleaning and clearing up the house last sunday till midnight...today, all back to square one...
- ian knocked down his plate from highchair...rice and soup! argh!
- the washing powder in the toilet dropped out suddenly (yeah, i don't know what have i done) and spilled all over...good time spraying.
- didn't wear ian's diaper properly, his wee wee leaked out and wet the floor
- nathan whined and cried the whole evening, tried sit, stand, nurse, face inward, outward, left right, walk, put him on walker, lie down....etc...still cry...nathan ah nathan, what you want??!!!
- kitchen is in a mess, kor kor likes to take out the pots and pan to do cooking, di di hates to stay in kitchen. can't clean, can't keep.
it's 11.57pm now...the boys are sleeping.
phewwwww.....tgif, daddy jem is not working tomorrow...yay.
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