i got very good rest today. woke up @ 8:30am, very happy!!! it's a luxury! ian woke up at 7am, get him to sleep beside me for half an hour and sent him out to play with his great-grandparents and i continue to sleep, coz nathan still sleeping :). the boys slept very late last night (ian's birthday), i made an exception for ian, allowed him to play longer at night...nathan can't really tahan, got too tired, woke up and cried many times before going into deep sleep.

nathan is turning 4-month old soon. ah po said nathan will get 'jealous' when he sees me carrying ian. he would make a lot of noise and kept on looking at me & ian. i don't know how true it is but one thing i must do for sure, got to learn how to spend time with both boys equally. love this little boy, he's so cute!

went to church last week, back to the parents and kids area again...sorry God, didn't get to listen to sermon again. simply too distracted by all the kids and parents. many of us sat on the floor...and i told jem, feel as though we're having picnic in church. really!!! you can see people talking, lots of bags, food, toys all over the place. then our dear ian kept on running to the nursing room, refuse to come out...kept telling me 'byeeee' and 'go!!!'...(means leave him alone) which later i found out he wanted to poo there. that's ian...always look for some corner to poo and must be left alone...and that's the only time when you realise how come our home turns out so quiet and peaceful all of sudden...then you know...he's doing some very serious business somewhere.

now you know what i mean by hiding some corner...

kor kor turns 2

our dear ian turns 2 on yesterday (29 november). bought him a thomas & friends cake, his current favourite. we had very very yummy dinner, ah gong & ah po cooked beef patties, salad, mashed potatoes, roasted chicken drumstick, homemade fries, pati rice & sausages. ian enjoyed himself too, kept on clapping hand while we sang birthday song to him, and he got so excited when he managed to blow off the candles. we had a great time.

looking back his 1-year old birthday celebration, his cake is much bigger....i ordered the sesame street 1.5kg cake for him...first time order, didn't know the cake turned out so big...and the fridge almost can't fit in and we took days to finish it :P. this year, the cake is only 1/2 kg....enough to feed the whole family...and i must say the cake taste pretty good. ordered from polar :D...coz that's the only shop that makes thomas train cake in j8 bishan.

i had my wish come true too...ian called me 'mee' finally!!! *wipe tears* that was one day before his birthday...i'm very very very happy okie! he called me 'mee' shyly and i encouraged him to say more by kissing him... haha...when he noticed that i would kiss him when he call me 'mee', he calls me even more. cheeky boy!

back to my messy self again...

was very inspired by stay at home mothers who still look good at home and outside couple months ago. i even downloaded their 'hotmama.pdf' file...giving me the to-do list to become 'hotmama'.

i followed some of them and i'm not sure whether i can achieve the rest like going for manicure/pedicure (or DIY???), eye brow wax (ouch!), apply lip gloss at home everyday. uhmmm...if you're talking about proper manicure/pedicure...if i remember correctly, the last time i did that was on my wedding day @ 2003. as for DIY, simply apply the nail polisher was aaron and sin yee's wedding 1.5 weeks ago...and that color came off after 2 days. guess what, i bought this nail polisher at least 4 years ago...till now still haven't finished and i don't even know whether it has expired (do they have expiry date in the 1st place???!!!). i would want to have my fingers look good though, i wonder how other pretty mommies can clean their kids with long colored nails...can't imagine i have that man....my boys would probably kena many cuts from me...coz i wash their buttocks at least 3 times a day.

then i should apply moisturiser everyday too...oh i think this is a must. in fact, i apply this very diligently for a period of time...coz ian loves to apply moisturizer for fun too. i use his fun time to remind myself....
till one day, he applied moisturizer on the sofa, floor and all the furnitures...that's when i put a stop and hid all of them....and since then i kept on forgetting to apply. my skin looks dry again...nevermind, i shall revive this again...tomorrow.

another to-do list is to wear nice nice at home too. uhmm...i gave away a lot of my big ts and bought new ones, not big ts, something that can wear at home and outside. go shopping to buy new clothes is always exciting! then reality hits!...i've been upgraded from S to M size....gaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!! *hit wall*...then because i still can't accept this reality, i'm back to my big ts again...

ok...nevermind...*take a deep breath*

will start look nice again tomorrow...
will jump and run around the house with ian and carrying nathan at the same time!

my 2008 resolution...

"be healthy pretty wife for hubby, healthy pretty mama for my boys."

ian has been speaking lots of words for the past 3 weeks...everyone in the family are having fun talking to him...in different lingos...he can speak some hainanese words, cantonese, mandarin and mostly english...numbers up to 10.

the funniest moment is when he's sitting in the car...he likes to say 'wowwwwwwwww' very loud...as though he's riding on a roller coaster, saying 'car car', 'tax' (taxi), chuck (truck), 'pup pup' (helicopter), cheng 'train'. very cute!

he can call everybody correctly in the family now....except me...
'ah gong', 'ah po', 'dou dou' (gong dou and po dou in hainanese dialect - great-grandparents), 'daddy', 'gu' (siao gu - joyce), 'turn' or 'didi' (nathan). you know what he call me? 'ma ti' (mati in malay term means die)

sigh! to think that i'm the one who face him the most, talk to him the most...he still can't call me 'mommy'....*give up*

i can't resist nathan's smile.

this little boy of mine, not only frown a lot, he smiles and talks a lot too! each time when i want to do something, i'll tell him "nathan, mommy is going to do something, will be back okie"...then he smile...and i just couldn't bear to leave him...so ended up saying "will be back" many times before i really leave....he's so cute!!! he has a chubby face and very attractive (to me is killer) smile...like magnet! oh...the best time to catch him talk and smile a lot is when he's just fed...you can see his contented look, just like me!!! haha!

tell you something...there's a period of time when i'm still pregnant with nathan. i was bit worried whether i can love him as much as ian. ian is my 1st child, i devoted most of my time with him, even when i discovered i'm pregnant with him, i already love him, that's how early. nathan is different, not that i don't love him, don't get me wrong okie, just that maybe i need some adjustment. there's no way you don't love your own flesh and blood right??!!!..then i read an article, about this mother who got the same concern too...and apparently it's pretty common among parents...but later she shared that 'she's slowly falling in love with baby #2'. i agreed with her. i fall in love with my nathan...i love my boys!

oh by the way, i know it's mushy here...but i've got to say this, no matter how much i love our boys, hubby jem's status still high high :P !

finally get myself to update my blog! been busy and tired. even when i can use the net, i don't have the mood to update my blog...simply want to do other things.

my mood is back now...haha...i hope this last, it's 12.42am now and i am supposed to catch up my precious sleep!!! just came back from a relative's wedding dinner at regent hotel...i only got to eat up to 3 course, miss the remaining ones coz busy with both boys. nathan, being the kaypoh prince, refuse to sleep...kept on smiling and 'talking' when people talk to him. drugged (breastmilk) him to sleep many times still don't work....passed to my in laws...and then ian wanted me to bao bao him...and also want to walk around instead of letting me eat in peace. anyway, i'm still happy...it's been a while since ian want me to baobao him when we're out as a big family, normally he just stick with my in laws...i know that he wants me tonight because he's sleepy, so whenever he wants me, i'm more than happy!!!

we went for aaron and sin yee's wedding last week too, at regent hotel as well! i enjoyed that meal a lot! we filled up half the table only, so which means each of us got to eat 2-3 servings on each course!!! i'm definitely the happiest one! nathan slept before the wedding dinner started! so different from tonight's wedding dinner right?

very happy to see aaron and sin yee got married. pretty and gorgeous bride and handsome bridegroom. sin yee is a very sweet lady, hospitable, good cook, and i think her love language is probably giving gifts. i don't know what's the word to describe her...sorry, my vocab is limited...i can only give you examples, she wrapped her presents very nicely and very creative, she will surprise you with gift once a while. i remembered during my 1st pregnancy, she gave me 3 different sizes of glass bottle, all according to the size of my tummy in different period! she bought things for ian, books, jellies and shirts. very nice of her.

then ian was given the privilege to be their pageboy (will load up his photos soon)...phewwwww...my concern about ian not willing to walk down the aisle, not willing to wear his long sleeve with vest is over....thank God he's fine...though he did get distracted a bit when he saw his grandpa, almost left the aisle!!! oh oh ...i got to walk down the aisle too!!! haha! with ian of course! both flowergirl and pageboy were accompanied by mothers, coz they're too young!

i like this month, so many things going on, and christmas is near! how exciting!!! oh christmas, i love christmas!!!

you know what i like about forums???

not only can you learn or share things, you can VENT your heart even your lung out to people you don't know when you're angry. i'm about to do that! somebody did something to my boy today...that really pissed me off!!! sorry, am boiling inside...won't share here.

hate people who show favouritism. i told myself, i'm not gonna do this to my sons...all have equal loves from me!

i'm updating my blog, jeremy is playing guitar in joyce's room now.

after watching nigel playing guitar from youtube, jem feels that he needs to brush up his guitar skills...very motivated!!!

nigel is doing well in hillsongs eh...miss this friend mann....looking back in zion praise harvest days, there were big bunch of us gathered in ones house....sat comfortably on the floor, chat and nigel played guitar at the background...some of us sang and others joined in the jamming. i love to see nigel playing guitar, he's so talented!!!

then everyone was so eager to learn guitar those days...it's contagious!!! i like the way sean lee plays his guitar too...very nice!

oh there's one thing i discovered about guitarist...those really good ones...they can't teach the basic players!!! take my hubby for example (sorry jem, you're the typical one, but of course, you're not the only one), i feel he's pretty good player...but i won't look for him to teach me to play a song, how to play a chord is fine, not a song. why...? coz instead of playing slowly, or strum slowly, one chord at a time, he will play ENTIRE song with all the colorful strumming skills and left me staring blankly at him, not knowing whether he's teaching me or showing off his skills.

think jem is hooked to youtube tonight...he kept on watching youtube...different guitarists playing various songs.

tonight is the first night i read bedtime stories to ian. glad that ian like it so far and asked me to read him 3 more times. i gotta stopped him when he asked for the 4th time :p i have been wanting to cultivate this good habit when he's younger, who doesn't like their own kids to have reading habits? he doesn't like it last time and always take the book away. i stopped ever since then...

then my mom in law and i were in the room, make ian sleep last night. once again, she reminded me to start bedtime stories again, must sing rhymes, do phonics...etc etc. i started to feel bad...feel as though am a failure as stay at home mom, coz i could have plenty of opportunity to do that and i didn't do it. kept on thinking ian doesn't like it and always close the book and walk away. oh well, no harm trying again right?

some moms in the forum actually filled up their house with lots of books, i'm thinking to do that too. not kiasu...i think it's good...rather than watching tv all the time. oh...by the way, children books are pretty exy! just one small boardbook can cost more than $10++, crazy!
i'll go for the cheaper way, borrow from the library or go yahoo auction, forums to look for second hand books. i better start reading too...

feel motivated all of sudden...in fact, i learnt many new things after having kids...knew some of the big transport terms...like "track excavator, rig, mobile crane, transporter, semitrailer, air ambulance...etc"....all these are ian's favourite...he likes cars, all kinds of transports. animals and insects so so only...he always skip that part.

i have a devotional book talking about consistency, i'm struggling with that....today i brush ian's teeth, tomorrow i don't. today i'm motivated to read books for ian, tomorrow i skip...will continue to remind myself to be a responsible parent.....arghhhhh!!! must be consistent, cozai!!!!

it's exactly 3 months after nathan's birth...

i started to visit food blogs again. looking at all the local food blogs make me salivate (so much for dying to lose weight...). i'm thinking of baking too... want to start baking. when nathan was in my tummy, he hates his mommy do baking....making me feel sick to look at all the blogs. i actually removed all food related links from my blogs and even my favourite links....yeah...just by looking at the word, makes me feel sick those days. my poor oven and mixer are sitting quietly in the storeroom now. thinking of taking out the oven and mixer.............soon........if both boys allow, especially nathan who is the opposition party.

am very sure ian would be glad to help out...mr helpful is very helpful in making mommy taking longer time to clean up the kitchen at home everyday. he broke all my favourite cups, 2 bowls, 3 plates, 1 sabah chilli bottle (my favourite super hot chilli gone liao), spilled my half year supply of soy sauce, flooded my kitchen floor with tap water, added new textures on my kitchen floor with rice, biscuits and fruits. what to do? i can't leave him alone outside when i'm busy in the kitchen...i can't see what he's doing, will constantly worry he may slip as he LOVES to turn on the tap and play water in and out of the toilet. worry that he get bored outside, scream and wake his sleeping brother up.

will see how...maybe start collecting recipes....and trying them out............

one day.

i always thank God for bringing one person in my life. i thank God for answering my prayer for bringing someone like her.

her name is samantha, a full time mommy and a very faithful christian. i got to know her from the la leche league group (sth like breastfeeding mother support group) last year. we chat and decided to lunch together after the gathering...i suspect she's probably think i'm not christian and wanting to reach out to me :P...and later we found out we're both christians :D. she's got a boy (david) and only 9 months younger than ian. she's the one who always pray for me over the phone, encourage me with the word of God and most of all, she's a very humble, gentle and sincere person. she's very niceeee!!!! initially i thought we're almost the same age, and later found out that she's 10 year my senior :P she looks so young to me!!!

when ian was only a few months old...i was pretty lonely, everybody else is working. then being in the minority group (breastfeeding), it's not easy either. i hardly attend cell ever since then too. i told God i just want to have someone whom i can relate to, to meet up, chit chat and encourage me in my walk with Him. God is good! (lots of hugs and muaks to God), He let me know this wonderful woman of God.

this woman very 'zai' okie...not only she reaches out to her neighbors, but other blocks too. no matter how tired she is, she'll still spend quiet time with the Lord. She never makes me feel guilty about forgetting spending time with Him, but she'll just pray and encourage me. Very sweet

been wanting to write about her in this blog...maybe you find it boring to read this...but i just want to glorify God for this. i want to thank Him for His faithfulness to me.

she's pregnant with number 2 now...so happy for her!!! God bless samantha!!!