rebel cozai: God, the volcano in me has been erupting for the past 3 days...though quite mild, but think the damage is done...sorry, i'll try again.
God: ...
rebel cozai: dear Jesus, can i give this test a miss?
God: ...
rebel cozai: dear God, how ah? how to be a good testimony? i know what i should do, but simply lose it .... eh...most of the time.
God: ...
rebel cozai: can you please change my heart, so that it's easier for me to deal with it?
God: ...
rebel cozai: ok, You win

2 months left...

my baby nathan will be born.

i had a dry run in perth...try to cope with 2 at the same time...that's diana's youngest son, daylan and my boy ian, when diana has to leave daylan with me to bathe or cook. let me tell you, i thank God for the opportunity!!! i wanted to see how is it like to cope with 2. mannnnn..... don't know how to describe this!! was carrying daylan and ian suddenly run to me, wanting me to carry him too. i tried...carrying both and the one in my tummy, that's 3!!!! good exercise!!! and in the end, cannot tahan, ended up having to stop all activities, just sitting down. clara (my ex-zion disciple) once told me, she tried to carry ryan (3-4 year old) and caryna (new born) in the first few months and she gave up in the end, ryan is way too heavy and too much for her to bear.

we'll stay more in sengkang than bishan when nathan is born. ian has been quite sticky to me, oh i love it!!! but sometimes that makes me wonder...how to cope when both need me at the same time???!!! how ah???!!! i started to feel guilty for not able to give my 100% attention to each of them... and ian probably lesser? coz nathan needs me more. argh....don't know lah!!! wish there's a way to carry both kor kor and di di in my sling!!! that's probably save some of my headaches. and what really worries me is...my milk supply. coz lack of rest will affect milk supply. the ideal situation is both sleep at the same time and long enough for me to charge up. can't think too much now...many people been asking me how i cope when baby comes, all i can tell them is one step at a time :P, things will work out somehow...am a first time mother of two (soon)...will give you my advice when i manage to do it okie. "oh God, i don't mind not enough rest, just give me plenty of milk supply can liao! Amen"

sorry mate, i'm not pro to formula (nothing wrong with formula, just my own stubborn belief on breastfeeding okie, no need to clean and sterilising bottles :P), appreciate not to suggest this...you may mean well. thanks and no thanks.

i seek advices and support from my m4m forum, very encouraging... some mothers gave me a pat on the shoulder! say i can do it, coz they went through it. they admitted it's tough but it's possible! one day at a time!

in 2 months....
2 months!!!! oh my....2 months!!!
better to have some retail therapy!!!

*saw michelle cheng (ex zion harvester) in thomson medical centre!!! she's 5 month pregnant. sorry, don't know whether is a girl or boy, we didn't get to talk much as different doctors (different place). saw her hubby for the 1st time too, but...eh, can't remember how he look like liao.

this entry talks about food only...

did i mention how i spend mother's day in perth? i'm glad...to extend my stay in perth, haha!

all i can say is the word 'pampered'

i celebrated mother's day in zion praise harvest. they opened up another lecture hall, VIPs are mothers! there's kids performance, good food and massaaaaaaaage!!! will post the food pictures and kids performance out when i'm not too lazy ok. i purposely waited for all the food to come (it's not self service, there are gentlemen come to you and serve you the food), took the picture then devoured them all.

my sis, diana brought me to a chinese restaurant, well-known for their 'yu tao mai fan'. not exactly fish head though, somewhere below the fish head??!!! very crunchy, fleshy and yummy! we went there many times!!! i don't mind go there everyday! forgot to take pictures...anyway, that was the first time diana saw me leaving ian 'behind', taking care of himself and i just focusing on my food. yeah...i would normally feed ian first, then me later...but this is the exception!!! haha! it's so nice!

diana's cooking still number one! yummy and nutritious! she can cook many dishes in short period of time. i want to master that skill!!! ian loves all her food, especially her porridge and soup. heard of using bacon bones to make soup and porridge? it's very tasty ok! maybe will try to look out in singapore.

my bro, alfred, invited us to his place for dinner. he made western food, very meaty, fatty (lamb chop, chicken wings and salmon)! very nice and very sinful!!! i took the pictures (post later)...you wouldn't believe (oh well, not surprise to some of you) that i can finish them ALL. it's a one big plate of food! and the thing is...i still hardly visiting the toilet...where has all the food gone? where? where where??

another 5 days, will be back to lion city. for some reasons i still don't want to go back....oh wellllll, no more extension :( not that i can't...but i guess it's time, my in laws miss ian terribly. it's been very nice and relax staying here, with diana's family, meeting up with the 'remnants' from the older generation zion harvesters.

so what's the latest news

nezzy & david - just moved in to the new home, nice cosy home. we had dinner over their place last night.

vel - owns a house and a car

wan see - owners of 2 houses and a new car, doing well as a pharmacist

sim & pei li - moved in to their new home couple months ago, very nice :D emily is so adorable
terence & eu lynn - just bought a house, expect wedding bells soon.

stanley and phyllis - just gave birth to a baby girl, ashlee

uncle michael & aunty soo khean - has moved to new home (have yet to meet up with them, soon)

jennifer tan - giving birth soon (next month i think), a boy :D

looking back, all these people used to stay in student housing and now everybody owns a home, getting married. haha, better to have changes yeah...else something is wrong yeah ;P

i attended zion praise harvest for 3 weeks. let me tell you something, realising myself still cling on to the past.....sometimes...

1st week in zion praise harvest, as i was worshipping, looking at the worship team at the same time, i was actually replacing all the worship teams with the people i knew in the past. people like bets, leah, ian lee, sean, lisa, pearli...etc. and i started to miss those days again. then remember our church bulletin? it looks very nice and pro now...no longer they use ohp to do slides, all computerised now, the presentation is great and impressive. sermon comes prepared notes with some blanks for us to fill in....oh did i mention, they've moved to elizabeth jolly building? no more nursing building liao. then as for the usher ministry, all wearing black suits, very smart looking! and of course, new generations of zion harvesters, very happening!

though i left zion for ...uhmm...abt 6 years? i still keep in touch with people like bets & nezzy and shared deep stuff with them. hehe, still can't find someone close to share in singapore. maybe i simply not initiative enough to explore out. or should i say the friendship i had with people esp from zph simply not easily be broken :P but ronald & diana said something which actually gave me a good 'slap' on the face...making me realise it's time to find someone to share my deep thoughts in singapore TOO....and guess what, God spoke to me in this area in one of the nights here. better do something about it :P

2nd and 3rd week in zion praise harvest, no longer i think about the past. i looked at the crowd, the worship team without 'replacing' faces liao. haha. anyway, celebrated mother's day in 2nd week, a very memorable and very pampered day in church...(will write another entry about this later). 3rd week in zion is baptism sunday.

haiz...am watching 'lost' now...will update my blog....later.

updates from kangarooland

okie...here i am...finally updating my blog yeah.

i'm in perth now. supposed to be back to lion city 2 days ago but decided to extend to another 2 weeks. i simply not ready to go back...want to spend some time 'outside' before my 2nd boy's arrival (early aug).

am staying with my sis, diana now. didn't do much here, simply following her wherever she goes. christopher (her older son) is very cute and chatty, daylan is chubby and adorable. i took quite a lot of pictures here but sorry, too lazy to load them up.
weather is great! cooling and cold at night! actually kind of slowing down my movement...feeling as though i don't want to move much at all...but of course can't, i have a move non-stop little ian, have to keep an eye on him wherever and whatever he does.

enjoying all the different 'groups' here...what i mean is...there're mothers' group, family cell group, leaders meeting, YA (young adults) meeting. i attended only the mothers' and family cell. the first time when i joined the mothers' group (all full time moms) with my sis, the moment we stepped into the house, all we did is to chat chat and chat and eat....then of course, with our kids around, we were busy feeding them too...very casual and relaxing kind of gathering. as for the family cell, it's fun too...for all the ex-zph, am sure you know who is 'wai chee' right? yeah, think she's the leader of this cell, there's a room dedicated for all the children to play and watch movies, there're baby-sitters (which i believed is students who volunteered themselves to take care of the kids so as to free the parents to listen to teaching outside) and the parents having cell outside. i had fun joining this cell, listening to all the sharing and laughter, something i miss deeply in zph...zion praise harvest has changed a lot...will probably write another entry just talking abt zion praise harvest in days to come eh :P...

karawara (near curtin) has changed a lot! there's nando and pizza hut now...

will update again.