Eating pancake

Jem,
live update for what we're doing here now, hving tea break, pancake! Your favourite!
Ian ate 3, nathan 1, ah po 1, me 1. Jonathan is watching lightning mcqueen.
The pancakes tastes so nice with maple syrup and lemon. Ian loves the pancake w lemon so much till he's licking all of our plates.

to buy or not to buy

when jem is abt to fly to argentina, i told him...i might buy something to make myself happy when he's not ard...though he's only away for 10 days, it's not an excuse to buy something...i can buy anytime even when he's ard but just...something to fill that the loneliness temporarily...:P...oh well, apparently i still don't know what to buy. it's wednesday already!!!! nothing for myself except just bought a steering wheel toy for jonathan.


am thinking to buy another macbook...this macbook hardisk is running out of space!!!...i can't even download photos from my camera because its powderful words says LOW MEMORY...all the photos are stucked in my camera now. would i dare to buy now...want but not dare to...don't want to kena criticise for not waiting for good deals, IT show, whatever fairs, with whatever freebies...then i feel bad in the end. then what?  ipad is not here yet!!! i don't know why i'm so keen on having it, maybe just want to have the thrill of having a new toy for myself.


so what else? a swatch? keen to get a new watch for myself....but still haven't stepped into that shop yet...feel like buying one, and yet...not exactly dying to have it...it just occasionally i do hope to have a watch instead of searching for my phone to find out what time is it. gotta find watch that's water resistance...i gotta bathe the boys and that monkeys always make me wet all the time you know!


xianz....maybe in the end, i bought nothing when he's bk from argentina. 


uhmmm...due to migraine yesterday, i went to see doc and he said i've got low blood pressure...prescribed me folic acid and asked me to eat more nutritious esp. iron-rich food. eat more beef? uhhmmmmm!!!! good idea for carnivore cozai, will get jem to bring me to eat steak or hainanese beef noodle...it's time to go pak toh with jem.


come to think of it, looks like having good food will make me happy...


i was feeling very low after jem left only 2nd day. i told ian i miss daddy v much. he's counting 1-10 days...then told me "mommy, 2 days over already, still have another 8 days, daddy will be coming back after 8 days". then he hugged and kissed me, to comfort me. so sweet right!

French almond cake

Tataaaaa, fresh out from oven. Going to try out in secs. got the recipe from happy homebaking mom - french almond cake . uhmm...photo was taken from my hp, color didn't turn out as nice as it should be...the cake color actually doesn't look so dull...it's bright yellow and nice golden brown on top. oh well....nvm, need to go thru QC from my boys and hubby.


***edited
my verdict - juz had a slice. cake looks a bit dense, but taste nice. forgot to read ppl who tried out her recipe comments. only to find out later some had the same prob as mine - dense. will try to beat the butter & sugar 1st, add egg gradually then add the remaining ingredients rather than mix all together in future. original recipe was 150g sugar, the blog mommy use 120g. i still find it too sweet for my liking (120g), will try 90-100g next time.

more siblings

there's a period of time ian is asking for more siblings...

"mommy, i want 10 di di mei mei!!!"

"i want many many, i help you to take care"

as most of you have known by now, i am not going to have another one. so i told ian "mommy is not going to have anymore babies, jonathan is the last baby"

ian sounded very upset when he heard and asked me why. then i said daddy don't have enough money to support too many didi meimei, not enough rooms, he always fight with his siblings :P...

then he said "but i got money, i give daddy money from my piggy bank! they can sleep with me in my playroom! i won't fight with them, i will take care of them"....he has all the answers to shoot me back.

because i know his desire to have more siblings...me, the evil mom always use this to calm the daily war zone...."i thought you want mommy to have more babies? but why are you still fighting with nathan? what happen if all your didi mei mei fight for the same toys? what would you do?" then ian would suddenly turned very very gentle...and gave in to his brother immediately.

there was once in their room, nathan wanted to sleep beside him but he didn't want, then i said "what happened if other didi mei mei also want to sleep with you? i thought you want more didi mei mei? but you don't even let them sleep with you?", then again he would suddenly turned very gentle again "come nathan, korkor baobao you, when you're sleeping, kor kor take care of you."

after many times of giving him 'false hope' of having more siblings...i really felt bad...i decided to tell him, "no, mommy is not going to have babies already"...i can't remember what's his response recently, but that got me into mixed feeling.

yes, i definitely stop at 3. i haven't do the IUD yet...coz based on the advice from nurse, i need to wait till my period to come back then can do that procedure. so from now till then, there's always a possiblity of 攪出人命 if we don't take any precaution. based on my past 2 baby experiences, if period came back late, my fertility antenna is super high.

though i go through war zone everyday, i wonder how i survive each day with lack of sleep and rest, the desperate sense of wanting to have 'freedom', my personal time, desperate to have time alone with jem, i still love to have many kids. worst thing is after God gave me that experience of painless delivery (supernatural childbirth), that really makes me think giving birth is very easy :P...but of course, that only 1 day...the hard part is taking care and disciplining, providing a child daily need. crazy it may sound, but it's true, the thought of ending my child bearing years really gives me that mixed feeling.

3 is enough...though i have 3 boys...and all of you would think i'm very experienced by now...i'm not. if i continue to choose the direct breastfeeding path instead of pumping out

to bottle feed...i think i won't have time alone with jem already. the weaning off process, the crying out period is too painful for me to bear. i could have choose the that pumping path, that probably makes much easier to take care of babies. but knowing myself, i'll still direct feed, i'll still go through the weaning off nursing to sleep training period. stupid right? i know what i should do but i still do it.

ian is up...he wants to use the comp....if you find a bit confused of reading this entry...that's because i didn't check and i post immediately. he's nagging me now...