it's a testing period this week...my boy is only turning to 3 year old soon, already i feel i'll have heart attack and high blood pressure soon, very very soon.
so naughty!!!
keep pushing, beating nathan, beat and sometimes yell at jeremy, speak loudly to his grandparents and great-grandparents.
at playgroup, he's been doing the 'fighting' action, teacher has to stop him as he's about to hit other kids.
most of the time, i'm feeling as though i'm talking to a wall, he doesn't listen, doesn't respond, not till i stand in front of him, make him look at me!!! then he responds.
really, i've to confessed that many times, i ended up screaming at him, use hanger (haven't buy cane at home) to punish him, or lock him up in the storeroom (not too long of course)...
right or wrong way? mannnnn, i don't know you know, i'm so mad that time...so so mad!!!
it doesn't end here okie. he has this 'keep scratching his face and nose' habit recently...every 5-10 secs he does it! so bad that he started to have pimples recently. i have this habit....(blame me), but don't think i'm that bad (am an adult, can control), for kids, they seem to MAGNIFY that habit!!! having to tell him off not to scratch is a super hard work for the past 2 weeks!!! everybody at home was annoyed by his habit, i have no idea how to stop it. oh well, monkey see monkey do yeah...i don't know how to kick that obsessesed habit from him...pray.
3 years old is like that...wait till he grow up....
now is ian, next is nathan....soon both...
it's time to look for some parents support group liao...advices needed.
it's time to re-evaluate myself too, maybe i've been a bad example...it's ok...iron sharpens iron....discipline period! discipline whole life through...i've got to be consistent with my action, be firm to those obviously no-no stuff! not going to give in. establishing good habit is a hard work, but after a while, it'll pay off!!! must remind myself that!!! God, You gotta help me! keep me alive okie.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
sorry mates, i just need to get this off my chest...
no, no, no, i don't want a maid
no, no, no, i said i don't want a maid
even if one day...if i have #3 (i'm not pregnant) one day, i still don't want to have a maid!
faq: but, can you handle so many kids? so many works you know...you cannot handle...you NEED a maid.
oh pleaseeeeeee, whether or not i can handle, for the last time, i said I DON'T WANT A MAID!
i would rather be tired, rather have loads of work to do at home, rather go crazy and complain over the blog, whine and drinks cups and cups of coffee
I DON'T WANT A MAID.
how about part time maid? part time? don't think it works for me, especially having 2 boys at home...you can get the floor very very super clean one minute, then spilled milk and food or even pee the next min.
having a maid is the last last last thing at the back of my mind, i'm not saying i'll never get a maid, that depends on circumstances.
i don't hate maids, in fact i grew up with maids back in my hometown, i don't remember any bad encounter with all the maids last time, some very submissive, others bad tempered, grumble but still do what we asked them to do :) those grumbled normally work with us for many years already, some love to blast their malay music while doing housework, i'll just listen with them, some never open their room door no matter how hard and long we knocked at their doors after 10pm, whether they do it purposely or really deep deep into their (yes, 2 of them, both never respond) dreamland and some stole our stuff on the day when they 'resign' or got fired. whether they're good or bad, it doesn't really bother me.
and i have good relationship with my in law's ex-maid (bebe), she took care of my boys very well, my boys like her a lot (till now ian still asks for her and mention her quite often as though she's part of the family), i trust her and i know it's a lot easier when you have helper to take care of the mess, to cook, and i'll have more opportunity to bake without having to wash all the oily utensils, and when i go shopping, i have another hands to help me to take care one of my boys...it's good to have maid! all these i know and i aware.
but i still don't want a maid!
i value my privacy. that's all.
no, no, no, i don't want a maid
no, no, no, i said i don't want a maid
even if one day...if i have #3 (i'm not pregnant) one day, i still don't want to have a maid!
faq: but, can you handle so many kids? so many works you know...you cannot handle...you NEED a maid.
oh pleaseeeeeee, whether or not i can handle, for the last time, i said I DON'T WANT A MAID!
i would rather be tired, rather have loads of work to do at home, rather go crazy and complain over the blog, whine and drinks cups and cups of coffee
I DON'T WANT A MAID.
how about part time maid? part time? don't think it works for me, especially having 2 boys at home...you can get the floor very very super clean one minute, then spilled milk and food or even pee the next min.
having a maid is the last last last thing at the back of my mind, i'm not saying i'll never get a maid, that depends on circumstances.
i don't hate maids, in fact i grew up with maids back in my hometown, i don't remember any bad encounter with all the maids last time, some very submissive, others bad tempered, grumble but still do what we asked them to do :) those grumbled normally work with us for many years already, some love to blast their malay music while doing housework, i'll just listen with them, some never open their room door no matter how hard and long we knocked at their doors after 10pm, whether they do it purposely or really deep deep into their (yes, 2 of them, both never respond) dreamland and some stole our stuff on the day when they 'resign' or got fired. whether they're good or bad, it doesn't really bother me.
and i have good relationship with my in law's ex-maid (bebe), she took care of my boys very well, my boys like her a lot (till now ian still asks for her and mention her quite often as though she's part of the family), i trust her and i know it's a lot easier when you have helper to take care of the mess, to cook, and i'll have more opportunity to bake without having to wash all the oily utensils, and when i go shopping, i have another hands to help me to take care one of my boys...it's good to have maid! all these i know and i aware.
but i still don't want a maid!
i value my privacy. that's all.
Friday, September 19, 2008
cute nathan
"mommy, can i hold the camera?"
daddy used to tell mommy he prefers older woman, i agreed with him, check out how me and nathan tackle our neighbour jie jie.
come! let's remove all the dirt from this 飯桶
we help mommy to reorganise her mess. let's check if there's anymore canned food
see what we did!
mooncake festival: ian and his cousin
pig house #1
pig house #2
big bad wolf blow down kor kor's house, kor kor pengsan behind
i'm having headache
i'm very tired
i just recovered from runny nose
i just finished watching project runway
i'm surfing the net now...
it's 12:23am now...still not sleeping???
my boys are sleeping later and later...from sleeping by 9:30pm to 10:30pm, sometimes close to 11pm...have mercy on me! you cepat cepat sleep, then i'll have more 'me' time to do whatever i want!
ian just told me his 3 little pigs stories...from starting of the story, digress to talking about his playgroup, then talk about things in market very expensive, chicken expensive, tomato, apple, fish expensive, then got distracted by the noise upstairs...someone dragging the chair, asking me
"is it grandma dragging the chair? is it uncle? is it aunty? is it grandpa?"
"why uncle drag the chair, why?"
"i scared of the....the the..the helicopter, later bang me, then got blood come out, then i see doctor, doctor said don't play helicopter"
"mommy, i check whether you got fever, no fever...i got fever, i need medicine, can i go out?"
"teacher cheryl said don't fight, later tell mommy"
jem is in kl for 5 days...i have the car all by myself. oh...staying with in laws whole week too. so...this whole week, been sending joyce to work, sending ian to playgroup, waiting for his class to end, then settle lunch outside...back to bishan, cuddle my dear nathan as i miss him dearly, play with them a bit, nap time for the boys, wake up and play, bathe and feed them dinner...play time and bed time...whole week has been like this.
of course, the 1st 2 days of the week is more happening,
1st day - went to compasspoint all by myself while waiting for ian's playgroup to end...feeling funny and feel 'free'...without having to push pram and carrying a bag with baby stuff, oh...the boys too. bought some body shop products and went to singtel to try out iphone...uhmm...not bad, but started to think btw nokia and iphone now.
2nd day - went j8 with ian after his playgroup, bought 2 pouches :D
3rd day - again, while waiting for ian, folding and ironing clothes, left 10 mins of me time, finally flipped the bible, thank God for His word that day, just sitting on the sofa, looking at my home...mannnnn...i miss my own home...this house is so cosy!!! why ian prefers his grandparents place than his own home! ngiaoooo!!!!!
4th day - start buying grocery, stock up for next week. ian told me, i like ah gong house, i don't like sengkang (his own home). sianzzzz, i miss my own home so much and you tell me that! didn't go anywhere else...straight bk to bishan, not going out. sick of outside food, cook instant noodle for ian and myself.
5th day - jem will be back tomorrow! yay! miss him so so so much!
each time when i'm out with ian, i miss nathan. i know he's in good hand with ah gong and ah po...but i simply miss him a lot. i like the part when we just reach home, looking at me, running towards me and want me to 'bao bao' him...my heart just melt!
1:06am...headache is getting worse...sleep? see how...but am stopping here now.
i'm very tired
i just recovered from runny nose
i just finished watching project runway
i'm surfing the net now...
it's 12:23am now...still not sleeping???
my boys are sleeping later and later...from sleeping by 9:30pm to 10:30pm, sometimes close to 11pm...have mercy on me! you cepat cepat sleep, then i'll have more 'me' time to do whatever i want!
ian just told me his 3 little pigs stories...from starting of the story, digress to talking about his playgroup, then talk about things in market very expensive, chicken expensive, tomato, apple, fish expensive, then got distracted by the noise upstairs...someone dragging the chair, asking me
"is it grandma dragging the chair? is it uncle? is it aunty? is it grandpa?"
"why uncle drag the chair, why?"
"i scared of the....the the..the helicopter, later bang me, then got blood come out, then i see doctor, doctor said don't play helicopter"
"mommy, i check whether you got fever, no fever...i got fever, i need medicine, can i go out?"
"teacher cheryl said don't fight, later tell mommy"
jem is in kl for 5 days...i have the car all by myself. oh...staying with in laws whole week too. so...this whole week, been sending joyce to work, sending ian to playgroup, waiting for his class to end, then settle lunch outside...back to bishan, cuddle my dear nathan as i miss him dearly, play with them a bit, nap time for the boys, wake up and play, bathe and feed them dinner...play time and bed time...whole week has been like this.
of course, the 1st 2 days of the week is more happening,
1st day - went to compasspoint all by myself while waiting for ian's playgroup to end...feeling funny and feel 'free'...without having to push pram and carrying a bag with baby stuff, oh...the boys too. bought some body shop products and went to singtel to try out iphone...uhmm...not bad, but started to think btw nokia and iphone now.
2nd day - went j8 with ian after his playgroup, bought 2 pouches :D
3rd day - again, while waiting for ian, folding and ironing clothes, left 10 mins of me time, finally flipped the bible, thank God for His word that day, just sitting on the sofa, looking at my home...mannnnn...i miss my own home...this house is so cosy!!! why ian prefers his grandparents place than his own home! ngiaoooo!!!!!
4th day - start buying grocery, stock up for next week. ian told me, i like ah gong house, i don't like sengkang (his own home). sianzzzz, i miss my own home so much and you tell me that! didn't go anywhere else...straight bk to bishan, not going out. sick of outside food, cook instant noodle for ian and myself.
5th day - jem will be back tomorrow! yay! miss him so so so much!
each time when i'm out with ian, i miss nathan. i know he's in good hand with ah gong and ah po...but i simply miss him a lot. i like the part when we just reach home, looking at me, running towards me and want me to 'bao bao' him...my heart just melt!
1:06am...headache is getting worse...sleep? see how...but am stopping here now.
Monday, September 15, 2008
from music jukebox every night....now is story telling period during their bedtime.
the only thing is...
the story title is always the same.... 'the three little pigs'.
that's ian current favourite bedtime story for the past 2 weeks. i gotta tell the story an average 4 times a day. 2 times during nap time, another 2 times night time. used to be at least 3 times okie!!! i tried to finish the story as fast as i could so that ian would go to sleep, but he will ask me to repeat again and again...now...my pig story is quite a long version...not very original now...a lot of 'geh liao'.
anyway, as it is their sleeping time, i try not to make overly excited...sekali both eyes big big looking at me and refuse to sleep....how??? because i sounded so boring, i ended up feeling sleepy while telling them the story...and the story...always ended up has a lot of irrelevant content in it...
don't know what i mean right? let me explain...
not only the boring story, the mattress or bed is my weakest link...the moment my body touch the mattress, that's it...i'll talk nonsense...coz i'm struggling to keep awake...so the whole time...i keep switching between dreaming mode and conscious mode....
i can drift off to dreamland when telling him story...so if i dream i'm buying coke in the market...when the storyline is that the pig supposed going to buy bricks to build his new home...i would say the pig went to buy coke to build his new home in the market....something like that. it's not intentional...i'm so so so sleepy! by the time i realised i'm actually half awake and half asleep and speak the wrong words...i just continue, ian still listening...and didn't correct me!
content different, the story ending also different...today the big bad wolf blow the brick house so many times till pengsan, and the pig called the police to put him to jail, tonight's ending is the pig place a big boiling pot and cook the wolf as supper when the wolf trying to get into his brick home through the chimney.
maybe i should try cantonese version tomorrow.
the only thing is...
the story title is always the same.... 'the three little pigs'.
that's ian current favourite bedtime story for the past 2 weeks. i gotta tell the story an average 4 times a day. 2 times during nap time, another 2 times night time. used to be at least 3 times okie!!! i tried to finish the story as fast as i could so that ian would go to sleep, but he will ask me to repeat again and again...now...my pig story is quite a long version...not very original now...a lot of 'geh liao'.
anyway, as it is their sleeping time, i try not to make overly excited...sekali both eyes big big looking at me and refuse to sleep....how??? because i sounded so boring, i ended up feeling sleepy while telling them the story...and the story...always ended up has a lot of irrelevant content in it...
don't know what i mean right? let me explain...
not only the boring story, the mattress or bed is my weakest link...the moment my body touch the mattress, that's it...i'll talk nonsense...coz i'm struggling to keep awake...so the whole time...i keep switching between dreaming mode and conscious mode....
i can drift off to dreamland when telling him story...so if i dream i'm buying coke in the market...when the storyline is that the pig supposed going to buy bricks to build his new home...i would say the pig went to buy coke to build his new home in the market....something like that. it's not intentional...i'm so so so sleepy! by the time i realised i'm actually half awake and half asleep and speak the wrong words...i just continue, ian still listening...and didn't correct me!
content different, the story ending also different...today the big bad wolf blow the brick house so many times till pengsan, and the pig called the police to put him to jail, tonight's ending is the pig place a big boiling pot and cook the wolf as supper when the wolf trying to get into his brick home through the chimney.
maybe i should try cantonese version tomorrow.
Friday, September 05, 2008
Thursday, September 04, 2008
told you i'm in deep thoughts yeah...
i wanted to find a day...that i can just sit down and think through...
fat hope lah! the 2 monkeys make me so busy. climb here and there, running everywhere, ian talks non-stop, nathan moves non-stop. when both of them finally sleep at night...i don't want to think anymore...just want to face the comp and surf aimlessly....after 1-2 hours...i'm too tired...zzzzz....
ok...will think about it the next day, then the next day, then the next day...
and now...maybe i shouldn't find that one day, coz that one day will never come.
so i'm learning to think about it throughout the day, when chasing after the boys, scolding, bathing, feeding, bringing ian to pee and poo, when they're playing with ah gong ah po...
i can think better when i write it down. i used to write journal...that journal is attention to my Jesus. yes, i write to Him, i always think i can talk to Him better by writing than to sit down and pray...i get wandered away too easily. i still write but not very often now...once i start writing, i'll write almost everyday, but once i stop, it can be easily at least 3-4 months...so can you imagine how long have i not been talking to Him...with my 100% full attention?
anyway, i'm thinking about what to cook everyday, what to do with the boys everyday.
nathan is turning from very easy to feed baby to super fussy boy. very often, i ended up having to finish his food and go to the pantry, standing there, wondering what else to cook for him...
am thinking...what do i really want to do? what's my passion?
am thinking...feeling bad that i've not been a good mother? people around me always ask
"have you been teaching him nursery rhymes?"
"when you give or show him something, do you teach him, "a is for apple, o is for orange...etc, he must learn you know, must teach him many thing when he's still young"
"when you feed him food, you must tell him, it's good to eat fruits, meat and vege, that will make him strong, healthy, grow tall"
"when daddy comes home, you must teach him to greet, say "hello daddy, welcome home!!! must teach him good habit"
"connie, you must teach him how to hold the spoon properly"
"connie, you must teach him to sit properly, else he will fall down one day"
"do you tell him stories everyday?"
"do you ask him to read books?"
"ouch, his finger nail is so long and sharp, you didn't cut his nail ah? wait till he cut his face, must cut whenever it's long"
"do you give him fruits, they must eat at least one kind of fruit everyday"
"must give him drink plenty of water"
....the list goes on and on...
a lot of things seem very common sense...and it's true, to teach a child and especially comes to establishing good habit, you must start young...
i'm struggling with that...always feel guilty i didn't do as often as i should at the end of the day. i don't know how to tell you...you may think as stay at home mom, i have all the time and liberty to do...i know a lot of moms do that...unfortunately, i'm not...i'm too layback and many things i take things too lightly...e.g. so long as he can prick that fruit and put into his mouth, it's fine for me, but for some family members, he must hold a fork properly...you know? things like that?
uhmm...everyday...i'll try to be a better mom...but very often, i forget what i should do as a parent...
i wanted to find a day...that i can just sit down and think through...
fat hope lah! the 2 monkeys make me so busy. climb here and there, running everywhere, ian talks non-stop, nathan moves non-stop. when both of them finally sleep at night...i don't want to think anymore...just want to face the comp and surf aimlessly....after 1-2 hours...i'm too tired...zzzzz....
ok...will think about it the next day, then the next day, then the next day...
and now...maybe i shouldn't find that one day, coz that one day will never come.
so i'm learning to think about it throughout the day, when chasing after the boys, scolding, bathing, feeding, bringing ian to pee and poo, when they're playing with ah gong ah po...
i can think better when i write it down. i used to write journal...that journal is attention to my Jesus. yes, i write to Him, i always think i can talk to Him better by writing than to sit down and pray...i get wandered away too easily. i still write but not very often now...once i start writing, i'll write almost everyday, but once i stop, it can be easily at least 3-4 months...so can you imagine how long have i not been talking to Him...with my 100% full attention?
anyway, i'm thinking about what to cook everyday, what to do with the boys everyday.
nathan is turning from very easy to feed baby to super fussy boy. very often, i ended up having to finish his food and go to the pantry, standing there, wondering what else to cook for him...
am thinking...what do i really want to do? what's my passion?
am thinking...feeling bad that i've not been a good mother? people around me always ask
"have you been teaching him nursery rhymes?"
"when you give or show him something, do you teach him, "a is for apple, o is for orange...etc, he must learn you know, must teach him many thing when he's still young"
"when you feed him food, you must tell him, it's good to eat fruits, meat and vege, that will make him strong, healthy, grow tall"
"when daddy comes home, you must teach him to greet, say "hello daddy, welcome home!!! must teach him good habit"
"connie, you must teach him how to hold the spoon properly"
"connie, you must teach him to sit properly, else he will fall down one day"
"do you tell him stories everyday?"
"do you ask him to read books?"
"ouch, his finger nail is so long and sharp, you didn't cut his nail ah? wait till he cut his face, must cut whenever it's long"
"do you give him fruits, they must eat at least one kind of fruit everyday"
"must give him drink plenty of water"
....the list goes on and on...
a lot of things seem very common sense...and it's true, to teach a child and especially comes to establishing good habit, you must start young...
i'm struggling with that...always feel guilty i didn't do as often as i should at the end of the day. i don't know how to tell you...you may think as stay at home mom, i have all the time and liberty to do...i know a lot of moms do that...unfortunately, i'm not...i'm too layback and many things i take things too lightly...e.g. so long as he can prick that fruit and put into his mouth, it's fine for me, but for some family members, he must hold a fork properly...you know? things like that?
uhmm...everyday...i'll try to be a better mom...but very often, i forget what i should do as a parent...
after iphone, what's next?
iphone finally available in singapore last month...am so crazy about it and yet i haven't bought it, bo bian...my contract is not up...haven't even reached 18-month, not under singtel, and m1 and starhub said they will sell iphone by the end of this year...i'm under m1.
september, october, november, december...another 4 months....
what so good about iphone? i don't know :P maybe is the hype. i think when comes to functionality, it can't beat my nokia...nokia serves all my needs, only thing is limited memory...but someone said, once you jailbreak your iphone, you can do many things.."the sky is the limit", i wonder how true.
again, i repeat this from my previous entry, as a stay at home mom, i just want something to look forward to rather than nothing. i have a lot of notes in my 6300 nokia phone, e.g. recipes, sermon notes, grocery list, wishlist...everything...etc...till yesterday, my dear phone tells me "MEMORY FULL"....yiiiiiiaaaakkkksss!!! what? i can't add new notes? and trust me, i wanted to tell jem so badly that i want a new phone NOW!! sekarang!!! now now now!!! all because of...i want to write note in my phone which is important to me...knowing jem...he's probably continue playing his fm, my temporary solution to 'run out of notes' issue can be solved by writing on the paper....yeah?
....after iphone...i gotta think what's next...
clothes!!! yes! new clothes for cny!
i just found out joyce has a super long list of online shopping blogs. it's done by young sweet uni students...either for their projects or to earn extra pocket money at the same time...a lot of nice clothes out there....they look so nice wearing on it...
uhmmm...a 32 year old woman looking at 20++ years old clothes.....
come come come, let me show you one example...http://flirtydolly.livejournal.com/
looking back at my working days...my dressing is super boring...black or grey pants everyday with dull tops...and now...i wish i know how to dress up nicely. joyce is very good at that, she dress up very nicely and very pretty to work everyday. so nice :D
uhmm...nevermind, i'll try to look nice and dress up nice when i go out too...
came across this thread from a parenting forum...someone provides services like come to your home and teach you how to make up, tell you which color suits you etc...i'm very interested at that...$100 for that service, i really don't mind paying that amount...i will do that one day, wait till i wean nathan from nursing to sleep, i'll do it! yeah...i've been thinking how to wean...it's easy (think so) to wean ian from nursing to sleep last time...nobody at home, only me and him...cry for one week (i heart ache and cried with him the whole week)...then he weaned. but now...i have 2 boys at home...sigh...how...?
after clothes, my next target is probably a videocam...am going to stop now...don't want to talk about it...
tata
iphone finally available in singapore last month...am so crazy about it and yet i haven't bought it, bo bian...my contract is not up...haven't even reached 18-month, not under singtel, and m1 and starhub said they will sell iphone by the end of this year...i'm under m1.
september, october, november, december...another 4 months....
what so good about iphone? i don't know :P maybe is the hype. i think when comes to functionality, it can't beat my nokia...nokia serves all my needs, only thing is limited memory...but someone said, once you jailbreak your iphone, you can do many things.."the sky is the limit", i wonder how true.
again, i repeat this from my previous entry, as a stay at home mom, i just want something to look forward to rather than nothing. i have a lot of notes in my 6300 nokia phone, e.g. recipes, sermon notes, grocery list, wishlist...everything...etc...till yesterday, my dear phone tells me "MEMORY FULL"....yiiiiiiaaaakkkksss!!! what? i can't add new notes? and trust me, i wanted to tell jem so badly that i want a new phone NOW!! sekarang!!! now now now!!! all because of...i want to write note in my phone which is important to me...knowing jem...he's probably continue playing his fm, my temporary solution to 'run out of notes' issue can be solved by writing on the paper....yeah?
....after iphone...i gotta think what's next...
clothes!!! yes! new clothes for cny!
i just found out joyce has a super long list of online shopping blogs. it's done by young sweet uni students...either for their projects or to earn extra pocket money at the same time...a lot of nice clothes out there....they look so nice wearing on it...
uhmmm...a 32 year old woman looking at 20++ years old clothes.....
come come come, let me show you one example...http://flirtydolly.livejournal.com/
looking back at my working days...my dressing is super boring...black or grey pants everyday with dull tops...and now...i wish i know how to dress up nicely. joyce is very good at that, she dress up very nicely and very pretty to work everyday. so nice :D
uhmm...nevermind, i'll try to look nice and dress up nice when i go out too...
came across this thread from a parenting forum...someone provides services like come to your home and teach you how to make up, tell you which color suits you etc...i'm very interested at that...$100 for that service, i really don't mind paying that amount...i will do that one day, wait till i wean nathan from nursing to sleep, i'll do it! yeah...i've been thinking how to wean...it's easy (think so) to wean ian from nursing to sleep last time...nobody at home, only me and him...cry for one week (i heart ache and cried with him the whole week)...then he weaned. but now...i have 2 boys at home...sigh...how...?
after clothes, my next target is probably a videocam...am going to stop now...don't want to talk about it...
tata
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