did i mention nathan moves a lot? he moves a lot more than ian...a lot! ian practically slept throughout my pregnancy most of the time, i could hardly feel his movement. whereas nathan, till i change to his favor position, he would kick me non-stop when i sleep other position and sleep late :P. yap! i slept very late last night, ian got mossie bite and kept waking up crying, i sat beside him for 1.5 hours waiting for the blood sucker!!! the mossie came back 4 times, i failed to kill it! sick!!! so angry!!! by then it was 1am...i'm dead tired and nathan kicked me like nobody business, feeling as though he scolded me "mommy, why are you staying up so late!!!". anyway, manage to kill one at last, not sure if it's the same mossie, ian didn't make noise after that and i slept in peace.

i asked gynae for another confirmation about this baby gender in my last antennatal checkup :P. oh, cozai, you woman of little faith!!!
no lah! you know why? remember i mentioned about the chinese gender calendar? my father in law once confidently said based on the calendar, my baby will be a girl. in fact, based on my age, there're only 2 months of the year to get a 'boy'. to tell you honestly, i'm dying to prove the calendar wrong! i want to tell him, his calendar is not always right, and God is the One who determines the gender.

dat..da da daaaa!!! when we found out is a boy, i quickly bet with my mom in law $50!!! (sorry, full time mom has to find some ways to earn income) yeah...play cheat right? knew the gender and bet with people! chao kuan!!!
my sis in law, joyce said her father's fortune telling can close shop. that was fun!

so what i'm trying to tell you is...
though i have different experiences in both my pregnancy...that doesn't mean it's different gender!

when i have ian...i love all food.
now that i have nathan....i hate chocolate to bits!!! you give me, i'll return your kindness with dirty look!!! (ok ok...not too bad now...not as bad as 1st trimester)

i'm wondering how nathan will look like? how's his character would be? interesting yeah...another combination of jem and cozai version. i pray that he will be more like his father!

"ian, see the car car"
"ian, we go down see cat cat"
"zhengen, you want bong bong?" (bathing)
"ian, go and play your toy toy"
"ian, go dur dur" (go to sleep)
"see the bird bird!!!"

uhm...think it's chinese thing to end statement with 2 similar words with babies? i'm trying to speak proper language to ian...but the frequent words i say to him is

"ian, you want milk milk?" (maybe i should change...ian, would you like to have some milk?)
"ian, let's go down walk walk" (maybe i should change ....ian, let's go for a walk)

i wonder whether ang moh does it...so far i haven't heard one. i remembered my antennatal class instructor taught us to speak to baby like normal language...not baby language like 'goo goo gaa gaa'...babies are not capable of speaking properly and that's why they speak that way, but we adults shouldn't imitate what they said. we should speak properly so that they learn and speak properly when they're able to talk next time.

baby talk + adult baby talk = ??? what talking you!!!!???

enjoying myself with ian last week. stay whole week at own home...went out 4 out of 5 days. of course, i'm dead tired at the end of the day. still i love it.

brought ian to compasspoint last thursday. ian's nap time normally around 1:30-2pm, but he slept pretty early that day...12 plus...in the library. yeah, i thought of borrowing some baby books for him, and he ended up sleeping!!! nevermind, he slept on his pram, i was at the children section, trying to read up some books...to increase my knowledge. yep! i've been wanting to do this for the longest time, i realised i don't know too many things...even the simple things in life...

"ian, this is aeroplane"
"ian, this is...eh...uhm...don't know what this is, will let you next time"(an animal, and i've yet to find out what is it)

anyway, had difficulties focusing on a subject. there're so many books in the library..animals, science, body, rhymes, arts....etc. haha, people like me who can't make up my mind is like that, wanting to know everything in too little time. one moment i'm reading a science related book, next moment, i'm thinking of reading up some books relating to transport (ian loves it). when i finally settled down, i'm feeling sleepy after reading the first 2 pages of a book. how encouraging! and ian woke up shortly after that.

i enjoyed the friday the most, went out with 2 other mothers with their baby boys...ian is 2 months older than them. got to know these mothers from the breastfeeding support group and we've been keeping in touch ever since then. she's been inviting me to her church every friday...wesley methodist church (behind ymca), neither a cell gathering nor formal service. uhmm...probably a teaching session with group of 20-25 people (i saw mostly middle agewomen). there're only 3 of us with kids...and guess what, 3 of us simply busy with our kids, i wonder how much the other 2 moms can listen, as for me...5% only. anyway, what i really enjoyed the most is their company...3 full time moms with all boys. we had lunch in ymca, then headed down to raffles city. didn't go shopping coz all our boys are sleeping at the same time, just hanging out in cafe cartel, chit chatting, having drinks and dessert.

then went to meet jem, joining his cell. jem has been working very late atnight for the past weeks, and hoping to see ian on friday night, and wantinghim to 'see' his cell group. oh well...didn't join in the end, just met up his cell leader for dinner then ian and i headed home. it was quite late, ian has buttery smell on his hair (courtesy from cafe cartel, he fed himself bread with butter), tired and his mother (me!) almost dead by then. i'm very very very tired....out from 10am till 8plus pm.

lovely week!

the sweetest thing in my life

- he runs towards me and grabs my legs when he's afraid
- look at me smiling when he enjoys playing certain things
- he looks for me for comfort when he's hurt
- when he sees me, he lies down and sleeps straightaway when he wakes up in the middle of the night, knowing that i'm there for him
- he searches for me when i'm not around
- he wants me to carry him (though can be quite tiring but i don't mind)
- he kisses me
- when he sleeps peacefully on my shoulder
- he calms down quickly when i comfort him
- moments when he wants no one except me and his dad

i thanked jem for giving me the opportunity as a full time mom. it's very sweet and heart-melting moments to be with my boy. people in the company won't value me as much when i leave...coz no one is indispensable at work. but my own child will search for me high and low, i feel important and wanted.

thank God for children

am back to the lion city...

it's easy for me to adapt back to the lifestyle here...so does ian...except a few things. he's having 'car withdrawal syndrome' now. just the first night in singapore, he did his 'driving' action on the bed before sleeping...and just now, he kept on asking to drive (look at the pictures above, play the steering wheel, real car steering wheel...), begging me till cry. there's nothing i can do, only to tell him 'tomorrow darling, wait for grandpa comes home, then he'll let you drive, tomorrow ian, tomorrow'. he begged till he's too tired, tossed and turned and slept. i wonder how long this will last...just hope he adapts back to 'no more big and small cars for him to drive few times a day lifestyle' soon. grhh....why time flies so fast...am already

• miss my parents, my eldest sis and her family
• miss all the noise the kids made in the car and house
• miss having breakfast with my parents in a cool breeze every morning
• miss to see ian, coming out from the room, pointing at the radio, asking me to turn it on and then he started to dance in front of my parents
• miss my sis's every extra effort to bake any cake i requested, despite her 2 younger kids crying for attention, her pizza is the best! miss my parents took the time out (3 weeks!) to bring us out to fulfill all my 'food' wishlist everyday!!!
• and i do cherish days....not having to do housework, the maids did it all! haha

am contemplating to go for another trip, to down under (perth)...before my 3rd trimester starts...which is next month, may! i know it's soon...but i must be very honest here, i seriously think i have lesser chance to go out when nathan is born. it's easy to go out with one child...two is another story.the only thing that hold me back is nathan....i noticed he moved a lot during the flight, not sure whether is it because of pressure or discomfort...will check with gynae next monday. if my gynae says no problem...will consider going.

"if can't bring your child out every week, bring at least once every 2 weeks...one or two hours is fine too, your child needs to explore and spend quality time with family...just the 3 of you"

"always keep yourself abreast of any news, read up anything to increase your knowledge, not just taking care of your boy. as jeremy works, he has interation with the world out there. if you don't keep up, he would rather share with other people than you coz you won't understand what's going on."

"look, you frown again! don't frown! you'll get wrinkle and looks ugly"

"when your husband is happy over something, show excitement and happy for him too! don't keep quiet"

....etc

here are the advices given by my mom and eldest sister. of course there are many more advices but don't think i can list down all of them here. i know i should do all these things since day 1 of being a full time mother, it takes lots of discipline and perseverance to do it...but i'm grateful of their advices and it's a good reminder and words of wisdom.

want to continue to win husband's heart? i should do the above and of course be God fearing woman. don't be a 'yellow face grandma' (cantonese) or mountain tortoise at home.

time flies...from 3 weeks to 3 days left. not wanting to leave...and i still not ready to go back to singapore.

ian enjoys himself here...get to 'drive' my parents' car everyday, play with the steering wheel and make a lot of sound effects. my eldest sis' 4 kids take care of him very well too. my sis has done a very good job, all of her kids are very well-behaved. thank God for these 4 kids, make my parent's home very noisy and messy...and my parents are not so lonely because of them.

how's my diet plan? will continue when back to singapore...mission failed here...

my home town has changed quite a fair bit. lots of big houses, more eatery shops and more cars. the roads are better to travel too, unlike the past, lots of holes and dead animals on the road :P

anyway, the highlight of my trip is today...my parents brought us to temples. not wanting to go but i treated it as family outing. as my dad used to be a parliament member, he did lots of good works for the local. repaired the road, donate money, help people in applying important documents, like passport, id card..etc, help the poor..and many many more. and now, eventhough he's retired, he still do the same thing. take the temple for example, the area around temple does not have water supply...villagers used to collect water from the temple, but the only problem is that they have to wait for the temple to open the gate, and only then they allow to go in. my dad solved the problem by notifying the public, to donate money to buy big water tanks...and bought super long hose...using hose to extend from the big water tanks to outside the temple...now all the cars, trucks can access to the water easily...simply turn on the tap and voila, water flows. that's my dad, love to help the needy.

i prayed for years, hoping that my family will be saved one day. after visiting the temples with my parents...i can see i have a long way to pray and of course get motivated and see the urgency of my parents' and my sis family's salvation. my mom is definitely a devout buddhist...she prays faithfully every morning, think she must be pretty active in temple too, coz i noticed a lot of people know her in every temple. she even helped out in the kitchen even though it's not her duty in the temple today...

i have this uncle who has been faithfully and speak boldly about God's goodness in front of my parents ever since his conversion probably 5 years ago??! without fail! when you see him, you know he's going to talk about Jesus. my dad will try to look away and change topic, my mom will pretend to listen...and he still speak! this is what i called 'not ashamed of the gospel'...people put their deaf ear, yet still speak! i always very encouraged by his courage and persistence. and of course....that put me as a christian to shame!

i always tell jem...when my dad becomes christian one day, he can be an apostle or maybe missionary. he always come out with new things, funny things, challenging things...things that people never think before. i can see a lot of 'his works' around my home town. whereas my mom, can be an evangelist or intercessor, coz once she believe in a product, she will hard sell the things....be it vitamins, bed...or anything that makes her convinced and experienced it herself, she'll promote them like nobody business.

that day will come...i pray.